I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 26976
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hey you gave me advice earlier about meeting up with those people and i liked it. well i met this girl on this swinger type website and we started to talk and ive seen her myspace and friends and everything else she looks legit to me but you still never can tell for sure. she has a boyfriend too. ive talked to her on the phone so i know who she really is but i dont know for sure. but id really like to meet with her but i feel like i cant tell anyone i would be going because no one knows i want to do that with another girl. ive told her i dont feel all the way comfortable and she told me to go ahead and tell someone what im doing so i would be. and whenever im ready. i dont know what to do :\ (link)
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This is hard, because I don't want to seem like I think you should do this. There are a lot better ways to explore your sexuality. You already know you like guys, so if I were you, I'd start from there. Find a guy that you like and most of all trust. After you have known him and you have taken it to the level that you are having sex, tell him that you have always felt that you were bi-sexual and ask him if it would bother him to bring a girl in and find out. I don't know too many guys that would say no to that question. At that point you find someone, or even have someone that you have already set it up with.
Other option, you know you like guys, so safely make friends with this other girl you have met, just friends at first. Hang out, (only in public first), and find out everything you can about her. Where she lives, works, goes to school, what ever.
Make sure that she meets some of your friends, just pass her off as a new friend, hopefully that is what she will become anyway. While this is going on, keep a diary just for this. Put down all information, keep it hidden and tell no one about what it contains, but make sure someone you trust knows of its existence, they don't have to know where it is.
When you are sure this person is okay, then you have a get together with only her, see what Lesbian sex is all about. Thing is, you may find out that you are not Bi, but perhaps it is just the thought of group sex that turns you on.
There is a lot of things this could be, you may be an exhibitionist and like to show off your body. You may be a voyeur and like to watch others, these are things you are best finding out with people you can trust and that will protect you. Most of all that will respect you if you all of a sudden say, "no, I don't like this, I want to stop."
If things go well and you find this girl to be trust worthy, tell her these concerns, make sure she knows you are exploring and you don't know if you will like it. Make sure she will stop if you don't want to continue, then if you want to continue on from there and explore more, take another step, but one step at a time. Anything changes, something unplanned, like the unexpected addition to the group at the last minute, you walk. Never plan any of this if you are at the mercy of them as far as transportation, alway drive yourself. If that is a problem, don't do it.
Always know everyone you are dealing with, for several reasons. You don't want STD's and you want to live a long life, not have some weirdo bury you in his backyard.
It is not easy these days to explore the world, we have to do it with great care, but the good thing is, is it doesn't have to be done right now, take your time.
Be safe my young friend, I want to know that you are not going to be a statistic on a police blotter. Don't take this wrong, but a hug comes with that.
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Rating: 5
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great advice.. thank you thank you thank you!
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