I am a father of three, girl, boy, girl, all are now over 18. I have been married for 29 years as of 6-30-07, so yes, if you do the math I was married at 18, just after graduating high school. I am very aware of the pit falls of doing so, but we made it through the really tough times. I came to this site, because of my daughter, she also uses the site.
I am an author and have written three books, only one under this name, but it is not how I make my living. I am in business, working full time and I have a seasonal business in ponds, selling Koi, goldfish, water plants and supplies. I help people to plan and build ponds, as well as, maintenance if they need it.
I am not here for the ratings and could careless what you rate me. I will tell you things I know, I will tell you what you don't want to hear, but most of all, I will tell you things from my perspective. I have experienced a lot in my life, I have not lived with my head in the sand and I'm a realist, you want someone to blow smoke up your as*, don't read my writings, (I don't do fairy tales).
I am not so foolish as to think I am always right, I can only tell you what I know and give you something to think about. It is up to you to find out if I'm right or not.
Life is complicated, because people are complicated and one answer does not necessarily fit all, but that doesn't mean you should not consider what I say as a possibility.
Feel free to write me personally if you wish, there is only so much you can say in such a restrictive environment as this site is, it doesn't allow for proper conversation.
Thank you for coming to my column and giving me the chance to help.
E-mail: gibber@cableone.net
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota
Age: 53
Member Since: May 14, 2008
Answers: 285
Last Update: March 27, 2013
Visitors: 26954
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well i have a few questions.
1) i heard that guys like when girls will try to take them from their current girlfriends..true or false?
2)what kind of attitude do boys like? What do you guys look for in a girl? because most of the time they go for the short skirts and stick size girls...
3)how do you turn a guy on without giving him the idea that you want to go any further than kissing??
17f if it helps??! (link)
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For most guys at your age, true, as it is for the girls too. It's a tremendous ego boost to have two women, or two guys fighting for you.
Yes, most "guys" go for the girls that they believe to be a bit more whorish, excuse my bluntness, in large part because their concern is to get sex at that age, it is rare they are looking for their life partner, you should avoid them, you will learn nothing from them.
Men mostly prefer a woman, one, that is secure enough in herself to be what he wants her to be sexually and ask for what she needs too. They do not want someone who is a whore, unless it is with him. We appreciate a women who can be dirty, as well as, a princess.
I think that most men like to see confidence in a woman, strength and low maintenance, (someone he doesn't have to fuss over all the time). But one of the most important things to a relationship is, someone you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets too. Someone who would never under any circumstance reveal those things you keep hidden. We all have them, thoughts, deeds, fantasies, things that most people take to their grave, because they think they are too weird to share and that no one else would ever would think of or do.
It's funny, my wife reveled something to me just months ago, (after near 32 years of knowing her), of something she wanted to do when she was young that she thought to be real nasty, but she never did and I confided in her that I had done it when I was young. It's liberating to know that you are not alone and the things you thought were so weird may not be so weird after all.
Sure, we must be physically attracted to you to even give you a second look, but you would be surprised what it is that attracts. I was attracted to my wife at first by, I had just turned 17 and was working as a janitor in the church we both attended. I was mopping a floor in a rather large room, when she came in and sat down on a couch and started talking with me as I worked. To tell you the truth, I don't remember what we talked about, but it was the act that attracted me first off, I considered it rather gutsy.
Her hair was the next thing, long dishwater blond hair like Carol King, a singer song writer of the day, and her face, innocent and glowing with her youth and spirit. The next thing was her butt, not like the skinny ones you see today where you wonder if it belongs to a boy or a girl, but full round and firm.
As time went on and she kept actually wanting my company, the list grew. There was a strength about her and innocents that I sometimes regret taking from her. I saw beauty in her that I had to be a part of and I wanted her so badly. I regret pushing her to the point that she felt she had to give me sex or lose me, because, even at 17 she was not ready.
It pushed her to the brink, for weeks that strength I loved so much slipped from her and was replaced by fear. Fear of losing me now that she had given me what I wanted, fear of having done something that she could never take back, fear of knowing she would never be the same again, her innocents was gone and I took it from her.
Most of all what attracted me to her was, she was genuine, she didn't wear a lot of makeup, she didn't put on airs, or try to make me think she was something she was not and she was willing to love me for me.
She did not try to change me and believe me, I was a mess. She never once made demands of me and she stuck up for me, even against her parents. Have you ever heard the song lyrics from Up On Cripple Creek? "Up on cripple creek she send me, if I spring a leak she mends me, I don't have to speak, she defends me, a drunkards dream if I ever did see one", this was and is my life, she has never stopped defending me and never stopped believing in me. I live that drunkards dream, yet I am not a drunkard. She has always stood aside and let me try to live my dream and alway believed that someday, something would click and work for me. Devotion, that is what is important, and I will never betray that devotion, NEVER!
Your third question has already been answered. If you like a guy, approach him, talk to him, show him who you are. Engage him with who you are, not sex, sex is a poor thing to build a relationship on. Keep engaging him, find out if he's the one that you can give the space to live his dreams and that you can give him his drunkards dream and find out if he will devote his life to you. If you are sure of these things, marry him and never look back, you will not regret it, not ever.
To this day I look at my precious Lee Ann and I see the girl she once was. I don't see the ravages of time and children. I see the young girl in her beauty and innocents, the first person to accept me for who I am and treasure me for it. That is what it is to be forever young, it is a honor beyond compare that she has given me, the honor to grow along side of her with no conditions.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you!! that is such a beautiful story about you and your wife...i would give it the pulitzer prize if i could!!
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