I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
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16/f.Lately ive been trying to masturbate while watching porn but I just cant get turned on. I used to get aroused really easily, even when watching a tv show. Ive tried different places, different techniques and I noticed the right atmosphere helps..but then when i start getting turned on its like I remember what Im trying to do and it just goes away..and when i try to masturbate my mind constantly is jumping to other thoughts, like 'this is stupid' or 'nothings happening' or 'im wasting time'. Also, I kind of know Im putting too much pressure on myself so Im not doing it spontaneously enough. Its like im consciously ordering my body to enjoy itself and reach orgasm, but I just cant. I also have never reached orgasm so Im not sure what to expect. Porn just isnt having the effect on me that it used to, but I noticed that girl-on-girl action is much more appealing than a guy's sexual parts involved. Whenever I feel slightly turned on and a guy's cock(sorry to be so frank) comes into the picture, I lose all stimulae whatsoever, not like there was much in the first place. Thanks (link)
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The easiest answer I can give you is to only masturbate if you are already turned on. Setting aside some time to 'force' yourself to masturbate just won't work. A huge problem many people have with sexual arousal and orgasming isn't from their bodies, it's from their minds.
If you feel pressured to perform, worried about what's wrong with you, or have a grim determination to just keep going - it's not going to work. If you're masturbating and just don't feel like it anymore, stop. There's nothing wrong with that.
Hormones fluctuate a lot during the teen years, and women's arousal levels also change depending on when in their menstrual cycle it is. This is normal.
Wait till you're turned on, alone, and then you can see what you like. If porn doesn't work for you, you could tailor make your own sexual fantasies - using your imagination. That way, you can visualise whatever people you want!
Men are generally more turned on by visual stimulation (though of course women are, too), and women generally are more excited by fantasy. Give it a whirl.
If you are worried about your sexuality, that could also have an impact on your sexual functioning. If girls are more appealing than boys at this point (in fantasy OR reality), so be it. Try relaxing and just accepting yourself and the situation for what it is.
I wish you the best.
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