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Before I answer your question..I want to address the legality issue about underage sex. Keep in mind that the laws are different depending on which state you live in, and which country you live in.
For instance, I live in Texas. Unless they changed the law while I wasn't looking- and I am researching this right now- it is not illegal to have consensual sex as a minor as long as you are both still minors. If one of you is not a minor..say the guy is 17 (legal adult in Texas) he can be prosecuted for statutory rape if, and only if, he is three years older than the girl. If this happens it goes on his permanent record as rape and he must report to the local law authorities and be listed on the Texas state website as a sex offender. (keep in mind that assuming that it is reported).
As I said, I'm still researching..attempting to find a federal law that would override a state law.
If you don't mind answering, and you certainly DO NOT have to...what state/country do you reside in?
After I clear this up, I will address your original question.
Lily Pad, would it be rude to ask where you found your legal information?
Working on it sweetie! Keep in mind there isn't any rush!..*smile*
Jasmine..
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Okay, still researching a bit, but realized something when I stepped away..most counties have some sort of county OB/GYN clinic that is free. The best way that you might find out is to call and ask if they would make you an appointment for a fourteen year old. If it is legal in your area, they would tell you so, and include any stigmas attached to it. For instance, "only if you have a parents permission, etc." You could remain completely anonymous and just tell them your birthdate or year of birth!
IF it is a possibility, make that appt! They are likely much closer to you than planned parenthood is. I have always been of a mind, that if someone decides to have intercourse with someone they care about, it's going to happen whether the state, parents, etc approve of it or not; and I would much rather you take precautions than end up pregnant!!!
Honestly, I am much like my mother was. When she saw that I was gaining interest in my sexuality she came to me and told me (I loved her so!) that if and when I decide to have sex, (but she hoped I would wait until I was married)..that she would take me and put me on the pill herself. AND because we had such an honest and great relationship..when I told her I was ready she kept true to her word without any lectures. (of course, when dad found out he flipped..said she was giving me permission to have sex *laugh*..like it would have made a difference *heh*)
Because most of my friends weren't so fortunate as to have an understanding and loving parent: I watched many of my friends become pregnant and most of them dropped out of school! I am SO grateful that my mother did that for me! I did NOT get pregnant and I finished High School graduating in the top 1/3 or my class- with honors! In fact, I didn't have my first child until I was 29, and by that time I was well and ready to take on the responsibilities of motherhood without any fear whatsoever.
My main concern is that you DO NOT become pregnant, and I could preach abstinence all day long (and blow some hot air, try and place my moral values on you etc-it's just not my style!) Because it's your decision and you will do what you decide to do no matter what I (or any legal institution) has to say. That is a fact proven time after time throughout the ages.
I like that this guy insists on using a condom, good for him! And I hope that you can get that appt! At the very least call the 1-800 # of planned parenthood for resources and information..the counselors there are extremely kind and helpful!
Be sure that this is what you want...not b/c someone justs wants you to do it. I can assure you that for most of us, the first time is not anything like we "romanticize" about..for must of us it is painful, messy and a bit clumsy. You won't ever forget it, but I doubt you will experience any fireworks...that takes time and, unfortunately, maturity...*yawns at self*...
Good luck on whatever you decide and be careful!
Jasmine
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