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RED FLAGS GOING UP...
KNOW THIS: YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC!!
Okay, got that out of the way *smile*.
And it is likely signs of a break-up, but I don't think that you should worry...because, from what I read, your not going to be happy with him in the long run anyway. You admitted that you only "like" him so it's probably best!
I'm sorry that I disagree with the consensus..but, well, I used to date a guy when I was your age and his favorite line was:
"but we love each other"; always when he was trying to persuade me to give in to a sexual relationship.
uhum...
I could be wrong about your guys feelings, but, from experience I've learned that if he really loves you as he says he does, he couldn't stay away from you for the life of him. He would pursue you rather than avoid you. Real love consists of three things:
Intimacy, passion and commitment
It seems to me that you both are lacking intimacy and commitment in spades.
And the passion is mostly coming from his side..SO what you have here is what is referred to as:
Merely "infatuation" and "liking".
Passion involves the emotional arousal that can lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual interaction. It may relate to desires to gain self-esteem, be sexually active, to affiliate with others, to dominate or to subordinate.
Infatuation occurs when we only have passion, such as in love at first sight. This type appears quickly and disappears almost as fast.
Empty love is felt when commitment is the only component that is present.
Why do you feel you should commit to him?
Intimacy needs most of the following things (and friends can have intimacy):
Communicating with your partner about intimate things.
Understanding each other.
Valuing and being happy with their presence in your life.
Giving and receiving emotional support.
Holding them in high regard and promoting their welfare.
Being there for each other in time of need.
Sharing yourself and your possessions.
See:
http://www.geocities.com/kmwahl/Motivation/triangular.html
...to get a better understanding of this.
I'm a little leery because it seems to me that after you didn't "give in" after he said he loved you..well he just wasn't interested anymore like anyone in love should be. That's what I gather anyway!
And, yes, if he wanted to truly Love you then he would want to "hang out" as much as possible! Mere infatuation should even lead to this behavior...and I don't see it!
You said yourself that you only "like him", maybe it's best just to move on and find that perfect guy rather than settling for "just what you and he are willing to give to each other for this moment" which = empty-love. Who knows maybe the relationship will grow with time, but it doesn't seem to be moving in that direction right now at all.
You can "break up" and still remain friends. I don't see why this is such a problem with most people. Eventually your relationship may grow into what it should be.
In the meantime, find yourself a love worthwhile, and stop wasting your love life on a guy you merely "like". If he loves you like he says, he will come back around because he won't be able to help himself. If not, then it's time to move on sweetie...lots of great fish in the sea!
Just.. "First, lock the target, 2. bait the line, 3. slowly spread the net, and 4. you catch the man!" *grin-song lyrics*
Then again, he may be calling in the dire hope that you will give in to the love he wants/needs...and if you don't see that happening with you..same advice, you say yourself that your NOT in love with him, don't lead him on, and PLEASE don't break his heart- if that is what is happening, just remain friends (who knows what may happen in the future if your relationship grows-I've been in that situation where I told a guy, "I love you, but I'm just not IN LOVE with you! Over time, we became extremely intimate, passionate, and committed- a wonderful relationship after I waited until the time was right).
But, for now, my advice is to move on and in the meantime remain friends, you likely have much to learn about each other and will find a great relationship whether it blossoms into romance or not!
Hope this helps,
Jasmine
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