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Q: My dad is leaving next year. My parents are divorcing. My mom doesn't even have a job so I don't even know what we're going to do. My dad is always yelling. My mom's always blaming me for everything. My dad hates me & I don't even know why. My parents are always talking about how smart my brother is & why can't I be like him. I get grounded if I don't make A's in every subject like my brother. My cousin is in the hospital. My grandfather has cancer & won't be living much longer. I can't talk to anyone but three of my close friends about anything, but I hardly see them anymore. Two of my best friends got separated from me because they changed the school districts. Another one of my best friends just got transferred to another school starting Monday. Two more of my best friends go to my school, but I never see them, so it's pointless. Another one of my best friends...my parents won't even let me hang out with. I ended up breaking off the friendship with five of my close friends last year because they started drinking & changing & all they do is spread rumors about me & gossip/talk about me now when I see them. God, I can't take all of this. How can I deal with everything that's going on?
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When I read your situation, I get the feeling of drowning, and a desperate desire to come up for air. First of all make some time for you to take a deep breath, and take things in stride. Kudos to you for not drinking, and spreading rumors, (at least that’s the impression I got) you sound like a principled person.
You get grounded for not getting As’ in every subject? Wow, you must be bright, I know parents who require that their kids just “pass” their classes.
All of the scenarios you have described are situations you have no control over or bare any fault to; parents’ divorce, your brother being Einstein, your cousin and your granddad’s both being ill, you and your friends growing apart..
I would suggest that you talk to your parents, about your feelings of being compared to your brother, but be prepared for them to disagree with you. The purpose of talking to them is to simply get things off your chest, and learn to accept things you can’t change. As for your cousin and granddad, be there for them the best you can and hope for the best. As for your friends, accept the change and keep an open mind; an open mind to make new friends.
Best of luck
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bio
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Ugo is a licensed professional counselor in Arizona. He holds a Bachelors in Psychology and a Masters of Science in Counseling Psychology. He is also the host of Road 2 Resolutions, a web site dedicated to addressing questions on mental health issues and conflict resolution issues.
Please visit Road2Resolutions.com for more questions and monthly newsletters.
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Info
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Website: E-mail: Gender: Male Location: (Originally) Nigeria (Currently) Arizona Occupation: Psychotherapist Member Since: January 28, 2008 Answers: 73 Last Update: May 25, 2012 Visitors: 7347
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