Hey!
I live in Canada and I'm teen. I've been through a lot of stuff with my friends over the last few years and I always try to give my insight into their problems (sometimes even when they don't really want it lol).
I've realized that over time I have accumulated a lot of questions about moving on, so if you have a question about that, lay it on me!!
I don't think that ratings matter, and that you should choose someone to trust your question with, that will answer it with care, but show you what the world really is and wont sugar coat it.
I hope you guys find my advice helps, hope to talk soon!! :D
Angie
E-mail: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 16
MSN: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Member Since: September 9, 2006
Answers: 465
Last Update: February 20, 2010
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My ex boyfriend (I'll call him L)and I went out for a month last year, and broke up becuz we were just acting like friends (it was our first relationship). Anyway, we are a rare case, because we just got ridiculously closer and its exactly a year today that we were together; we talk everyday, and he is almost like my best friend, only more. Anyway, i never completely got over him. I honestly love him. Not in love, but i do love him so much. We connect in a way that I never have with anyone. And i know he loves me too, we make a cute couple and balance each other well, but two months ago, i told him that i still had feelings for him and he told that we should just be friends. Anyway, my guy best friend's good friend J likes me alot, and I am attracted to him,but I cant see myself with him, because I still like the other guy. So, last night, I asked L for advice on what to do: whether I should give J a chance or not (because he is the only one who could give me a true answer). And he gave the sweetest advice, that if I saw myself with him than I should give him a chance, but if I cant than maybe I shouldnt. I told him that he (L) would be fifth wheel if I went with J (becasue my guybest friend, his girlfriend, me and L...and now J hang out alot). And he told me not to worry about him, and be selfish for once. Then he quietly asked if I liked someone else, why i was so unsure about J...and I didnt want to answer(because of course I like him). There is nothing wrong with J,but I love L, and I want us to have another chance. We are perfect for each other. We are always flirting with each other, and i love the way he talks to me. He said I brighten his day. Should I give J a chance, or try to give it one try with L again (mind you, he might not even want to try it again.) I want L to know that I do love him. I just dont want to get rejected again. But I dont think I can be with J unless..
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Hey!
Well this is a pretty complicated matter you're dealing with. Its hard to get over people, and L seems to be really important to you, but what you have to realise is that if he told you that you should just be friends then thats what he wants. When you went to talk to him about J he gave you really good advice. he's trying to help you move on. It's been a year, maybe its time. but if you dont think it is, dont use J as a way out. You dont seem to be thinking like that but some people do.
The reason you are having trouble picturing yourself with J is because you are still holding on rather tightly to the image of you and L. The only problem is, L doesnt seem to be holding onto that image anymore, so maybe you need to let go too.
Sometimes a good way to move on is to find someone new, but if you think that your relationship with J would just be compared to your relationship with L, always wondering what it would be like with L, then thats unfair. Unfair to you, and to him.
You said that you wanted to see if you could try it again with L but you dont want to get hurt. I think that you need to do it. I think that you need to go and tell him the whole truth. tell him that you're not over him and the only way that you can totally move on is to know that there is no chance that you two can ever be together. By talking to him the first time that should have done that for you (when he said he didnt mind being the fifth wheel, telling you to be selfish, he wants you to be happy, to move on) but it didnt, and thats okay, but you need to know. you need to know that there is absolutely no chance. that he doesnt feel the same way. once you know the truth you can move on and see that J is a great guy and he may be even better than L. You havnt given him a fair chance yet, and maybe once you know forsure that you cant be with L you can give him that fair chance. I know you dont want to be hurt again, but sometimes you need to get hurt a little.
its kind of like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, but you have to think positively about this. You have a great guy who is a great friend to you, who you've had some great times with, and who wants to see the best for you, and you have a guy who is new and exciting, but you just arent ready to see that yet.
Good luck, try and find your closure! I hope that you can figure this all out, and I hope that I helped. Let me know if you have any more questions. Lots of love!
Angie
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Rating: 5
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But I like L so much, I cant help but hope that he may want to try it again....thanx for your help so much!
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