I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
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15(F)
I'll be 16 in a few weeks.(Feburary 7th)
My boy friend is 17 (a year and a half older)
First off I just want to thank all of you in advance for reading. I really appreatiate you taking the time! But please refrian from bias opinons. Please don't judge my choices or tell me I'm wrong. I'm just looking for honest advice (experiance recomended)
ok well let me start by saying my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months. I am totally in love with him and this will sound stupid, but I really feel that he will be the man I marry. He's my best friend, but also one of hte only people I trust. (Here's where you won't judge me! =0])
We're not sexually active as of right now. We do alot of foreply but no sex.
The other night, we were in my basement and we just really started going at eachother. We were both totally turned on. So after a little foreplay, I asked him if he wanted to try to have sex. He always keeps a condom on him...just in case anything ever happens. He said "Yea, but only if you're sure you're ready. I am a virgin, so is he.
One of the reasons I'm in love with him is because the way he looks out for me. He always makes sure I'm comfortable with what we're doing, and that he's careful.
I said I wanted to, so he put the condom on. I was really scared/nervous since I'm no on birth control. He said that he wouldn't cum in me, but he would still use the condom. He also wants me to be on birth control.
The second after, my mom yelled down to tell me something and I felt a little releavied. I just was so scared about getting prenant, I forgot how much I wanted to share this moment with him. I kept asking him what he was thinknig but he seemed to maintain composure. Is his age at all a difference as to why he was so calm?
This has happened a few times in the past week where we have ALMOST had sex. About 3. This was the closest.
So the mood was gone and we stoped. I felt bad because I know we're both ready and he really loves me. A few days after I told him that i felt relieved, and he told me I probably wans't ready. He doesn't mind waiting. He said he'd wait forever.
Sorry for the lenght!
but here are my main questions!
Will he change after sex...will our realationship be any different?
Are there any ways I can approach the birth control situation with my mom?
Will I get pregnant if I'm on birth control, he uses a condom, and he pulls out?
PLEASE HELP!
Sorry for the length
Please don't judge!
Thanks in advance.
I will rate you!
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It makes sense that you are more worried about pregnancy than your boyfriend is - after all, you are the one who would have to be pregnant. Also, any big decisions about what to do with the pregnancy would ultimately be yours to make. It's a lot of pressure.
If you feel you would be calmer if you were on birth control, you've got a few options. If you would like to talk to your mom, perhaps this is because you feel she could offer support. You could always start by casually introducing the subject - 'my friend is having sex..' 'in school we are talking about birth control...' etc. She would probably get the hint.
Alternatively, you may have the right to free, confidential services depending on where you live. Should you choose to not speak with your mum, or if she isn't supportive, it might be worth researching these options.
You'll also want to make sure that you and your boyfriend feel confident with the correct way to put condoms on - and take them off! Using condoms incorrectly isn't a great help.
If you are correctly using both condoms AND birth control, you significantly reduce your chances of getting pregnant or contracting an STD. Even if neither of you has had sex, please be aware that oral sex and foreplay can pass on infections - so if either of you have done these things with other people, a condom is the smart choice. Testing might be needed as well, for peace of mind.
It's perfectly okay to wait until things are exactly as you would like them to be - and it's fantastic that your boyfriend is being so supportive. It's impossible to predict what sex can do to a relationship. If it's not the right time, worries about pregnancy, having sex, etc can put a lot of pressure on things.
If it IS the right time, with the right person, sex can be a wonderful experience. Only you can make the choices about when is right for you, and it sounds like you are really being thoughtful about things.
I wish you the best.
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Rating: 5
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great...no...AMAZING ADVICE. I wish there was a higer rating I could give you! THANKS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!
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