Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
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Last Update: June 20, 2010
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When I moved into my dorm at college, there was this one time I went away to a party overnight without letting my mom know. I am a legal adult, but am home for the summer. She outright asked me if I'd done it and I admitted it. Yes I know I shouldn't have gone behind her back like that, but if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have been able to go. I'm never allowed to go to anything when I'm at home, whether it be a sleepover or even to stay at my bf's house. I've missed out on so many things because of mom being overprotective. She feels I betrayed her and says there will be "serious consequences" Can she really punish me for this? She has been good about letting my bf stay here and she says I'm unappreciative of all she does for me because of what I did. What do I do?
19/f
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Your mom is overprotective, and she really believes that she is protecting you from some of the worse things that could happen. After all, if you thought she would have given her approval, you wouldn't have had to go behind her back. The damage is done for this blunder, all you can do now is try to work to get her trust back. It may seem like and pain, and that you shouldn't have to do it, but it is the only thing that will bring things back to the way they were. It is much better when you and your mom get along. What she needs to see is that you are making mature decisions about your life, who your friends are and what choices you make when she is not around to watch over you. Going to an all night college party is not a good idea, but you can't miss out on every one. Some are less crazier than others. It would be best if she thought that even if you did attend one of these parties, that she could trust you to not drink, not take drugs, be smart enough not to let yourself be drugged, and not engage in promiscuous sex. Having confidence in you is what will make the difference. Share with your mom your opinions on these kinds of things. If it is true that you are smart enough to not get caught up in these things, and you tell her that, she will believe you, and she will give you more freedom. Believe me, your mom knows that some day she will have absolutely no control over you and your decisions all. The sooner she knows that you are making smart and mature decisions, the sooner she will let go. NO one can protect their loved ones from every thing that can go wrong, but there are "stupid mistakes" and there are mistakes that are not our fault. YOu know,like going to the mall and getting shot by some idiot who had a fight with his girlfriend. That is something no one can protect their loved ones from. But there is so much bad publicity out there about teenage parties, especially on campuses, that it is no wonder that your mom is anxious about it. But some girls can manage to go to these parties and stay out of trouble Are you one of those girls? If you are, you can convince your mom more by being honest, than by being sneaky. Hope this helps.
Michele
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