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Im going through this weird "phase" and it could either be great or dangerous.. I just don't know where I stand or if this is something all christians go through.. the problem is.. I was writing in my diary about all the troubles of being a christian.. when it suddenly hit me that I have an option, instead of constantly wondering if its all in vain, instead of questioning it all, I could take a break from believing.. and figure out if I really want to be a born-again christian. You know - I figured I could either come out with a new joy and stronger belief in Jesus, or just stop believeing (which i doubt would happen!)
Now I guess some would say the devil put these thoughts in my head - but if I didnt believe - then there woudlnt even be a devil who could put them there.
I tried going back - taking back this thought of "going on a break" with my relationship with jesus, but its like its too late.. like I've opened Pandoras box - I have to do it now. Cause even when i try to go back, when I pray, read the bible - it feels like I'm lying - pretending to believe, cause I actually don't. Its like I have no option - I'm going through this phaze - Im on this break - and now I just wait and see what the outcome is.
Its been going on for about 2 weeeks. What do you think about all this? Is it normal? Is it the devil? Should I just stop and put all my might into getting back to the way it was before? Or see where this takes me? Could it have been Gods voice telling me to explore so when I came back I'd be more content?
Any thoughts are appreciated!! (link)
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It's dangerous. Period. You said, "Now I guess some would say the devil put these thoughts in my head - but if I didnt believe - then there woudlnt even be a devil who could put them there."
The truth is there is a devil and he put those thoughts in your mind. Whether you believe there's a devil or not doesn't change the fact that he exists.
Unbelief is one of the devil's weapons. The only thing "normal" about this is that it's a ploy the devil has been using since the beginning of time. If he can get us to doubt God's word, he gets a hold in our lives.
Look what happened to Eve. Gen 3:1 "Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God ACTUALLY say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden'?"
The devil got Eve to doubt what God said.
God's word says in Mark 16:16 "Anyone who believes me and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe me will be condemned." (CEV)
Do you believe that? I hope so, because God's word is true. He doesn't change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)
The fact that you have stepped out of the relationship you have with Jesus means you have believed the same lie as Eve. You either love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and want to obey Him or you don't. There is no going on a break.
There is no greatness in unbelief and God did not tell you to not believe. How do I know this? The bible says in James 1:13 "Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one."
God may use this situation to show you it's better to be with Him, but God did not initiate this. The devil offered it and you chose to embrace it. The bible says in James 1:14&15 "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." (ESV) So, by embracing the thought, you put this pattern into motion.
You said "I tried going back - taking back this thought of "going on a break" with my relationship with jesus, but its like its too late."
It's not to late, but with every passing minute, the pattern you set in motion allows the devil to gain more and more strength making it tougher to go back to Jesus. You need to get on your face before God and repent now. Ask for His mercy and the strength to fight your way back to Him. He will meet you right where you are if you pursue Him with all your heart. Even if your "feelings" don't match your heart yet, don't allow the evil one to discourage you. God is more powerful than the devil. Keep saying no to the devil and yes to Jesus. I'll be praying for you.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you for answering so quickly and honestly, I know you're right - but it's almost like its easier being a good christian & obeying God's word when I don't believe in it. As soon as I went on this break saying no to sex, alcohol and similar things got so much easier cause I realized I didnt want to do it - I feel like a better person now. When I did believe it was so hard to obey his word and.. well, I don't know. I guess I'll pray and see what happens. Thank you for your prayers.
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