Hi, I call myself Ignatz after Dan Herriman's character in the old "Krazy Kat" comic strip. I'm 44, father of 3, husband to one, crazy about music and books and food and movies and history and martial arts. I've had some wild and crazy times in my life, and I figure I might as well put in some of my perspective.
I promise not to talk down to anyone or make fun,and I promise not to BS anyone. If you're old enough to ask a frank question, you're old enough to get a frank answer. Oh, and if you ask me a question directly, please be patient. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. My life's a bit hectic. :-)
Gender: Male
Location: St. Louis, MO
Occupation: Professional dad
Age: 44
Member Since: October 29, 2007
Answers: 328
Last Update: January 23, 2015
Visitors: 35675
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Ok so I have a "friend" who lives like 8 hours away. We've been friends but i just recently moved and now we've been talking. We are like bf/gf but not actually. He and his chick friend[she has a bf] came to my place to visit so we could go to a theme park a few weeks ago and he slept with me and she slept on the couch. And we had sex[i'm 19and he's the second person i've ever had sex with..and i'm his 3rd]. They only stayed a day and then they had to go back home. I expected that we would finally be official but he told me that he was confused and he didn't know if it would work..he's also going into the army in like a month.And then the other day we talked and he still said that he really really likes me alot but he doesn't know how it will work. And so, but he still calls me baby and still acts like we are b/f and g/f but theoretically we are nothing so i'm soooo confused...HELP (link)
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At the risk of sounding cynical, it sounds like he wants to sleep with you again before he goes into the Army. He knows you like him and care for him, and he thinks the displays of affection will convince you to sleep with him again.
As a veteran of several failed long-distance relationships, I can tell you that they're tough. It takes a deep level of commitment, and you spend a lot of time feeling like you're on hold. You have to be deeply in love, and even then that isn't enough sometimes.
If he's going into military service, he'll be gone for a very long time, especially if he's deployed to a war zone. (Current TODs are as long as 22 months) If I were in your place, I wouldn't get into anything serious with this guy. Brief flings can be sweet, so if that's the path you want to take, make sure that he knows that it's over when he leaves.
Yes, I sound cynical and unromantic. But the situation sounds like a recipe for severe heartache. If that's your thing, then jump in with both feet. Otherwise, drop him like he's hot and move on.
Hope this helps.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you ssooooo much it helped a lot. And guess what you were right. And I dropped him so it's all good now.
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