About scootermclisle
Call me scooter. No, it isn't my real name, but I like the idea of having a secret name. Most of the people who have professional advice columns don't use their real names, so I don't see why I should either. I want to give the best advice possible, and I figure that the first way of becoming professional is to act professional. That isn't to say that I plan on growing up to be an advice columnist. Actually, I want to be a psychologist. But, this is as close as I'm going to get to that right about now. I'm also a very good writer, so I figure writing an advice column is a good way of getting my ideas out there. Please feel free to ask me any questions you like.
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E-mail: hairspray.link@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada
Occupation: n/a
Member Since: September 28, 2007
Answers: 279
Last Update: June 8, 2010
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I am writing a movie script, which should be in production next year, and I need advice for a few of my teenage characters. It's been a few years since I have been a girl in high school and, although things were hard back then, I can only imagine the abundance of peer pressure you guys face these days. I want these characters to portray real life feelings. Say real life words that teenagers say. And react the way kids react in certain situations. By using your own or someone else's experiences I would appreciate advice on how girls and boys would act or respond if faced with situations such as:
GIRLS:
A girl and her boyfriend had sex for the first time then he breaks up with her a few days later. What would she feel or do? Would she consider doing something desperate? Is it no big deal? What reason would the boy give for breaking up with her?
Would a girl ever lie to her friends about being sexually active when really she's a virgin? If so, why is being a virgin so terrible to admit?
If a sexually active girl had an opportunity to go back in time and say no to sex, would she? Why, what would she have realized?
BOYS:
Do guys have any regrets about sleeping with a girl? What are they? Be honest.
What are some good lines a guy would say to have a girl say yes to sex?
And I really hope someone out there can advise me on this one...Are there guys who choose to refrain from having sex until they get married? Not because they can't get a girl, but simply because they choose to save themselves for their wife?
Thanks in advance.
First of all, most teenagers (myself included) tense up when we hear the words "peer pressure". We like to pretend we are making mature adult decisions because we want to, even when it's obvious we are totally out of control. Now, to answer your questions:
PART ONE:If I had sex with my boyfriend and he broke up with me a few days later I would be mad, hurt and confused. It would be a huge deal. If someone had sex with me and then dumped me, I would feel worthless, confused, supid and naieve. I would probably tell my best friend about it and probably even my mom. I really like hearing what other people have to say about my problems. I like getting advice, because it's uplifting to hear people tell you what you deserve. Most of the people close to me actually really care about me and want me to do what's best for me. Just knowing that cheers me up. I would also definately write about my feelings. I'm big on blogging and I love finding creative ways of expressing my emotions. I'd probably write songs, poetry and prose. I would also read blog entries from Jacob Hoggard (my favourite blog author: www.aheartbreakingwork.blogspot.com), because he's even better at expressing how I feel than I am. I would listen to all the sad music I could get my hands on and mope around, crying. Eventually (after a couple of days), I would confront my exboyfriend, telling him how much he hurt me and how I just couldn't believe he didn't care about me. The guy would probably say he felt scared, or trapped by the closeness of the relationship. He would then probably tell me he still liked me (having second thoughts) and try to get close to me again. Either that or he would have dumped me for another girl and wouldn't care about what I had to say. As far as doing something desperate goes, I would probably get back with my ex if he wanted to and showed an interest in me, if that counts as desperate. I would probably also talk to a councellor. I have done that before when I really needed help, and getting dumped right after having sex for the first time would be extremely traumatic.
PART TWO: I would never lie about being sexually active when I'm a virgin, but I could see myself just casually not saying anything or letting people think what they want to think. Girls who get around are often deemed more knowledgeable about the way things really are. Sometimes it feels embarassing to admit that I'm waiting for someone special before I have sex, because no one values it when girls want true love or marrige, etc. Girls are expected to find sex fun and not to want anything serious. It's sometimes scary to admit that I want more than just cheap sex because most other people who feel like me don't voice thier opinions either.
PART THREE: I doubt a sexually active girl would regret having sex. If I had sex and it changed my opinions, I wouldn't kick myself for having not felt the same way before. As long as I always tried to do what was best for myself, I'd be happy with any decision I made. Sure, maybe I would think I had been misguided in having sex in the first place. But I wouldn't re-do any of my decisions.
I know I talked a lot, but I figured you wanted detailled answers. Good luck writing your script!
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Thank you, Scooter. Your insight has been priceless. Your manner of answering my questions shows quite an ability to be an influence on people; especially your peers. Here is a website I hope you will get acquainted with: http://www.passionandprinciples.com/ppmain3.swf
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