My name is Lyndsey and I'm 17 years old. I live in Lexington, South Carolina. I pride myself on being mature for my age with a good head on my shoulders, but I find I can be snippy when I hear something that just hits a nerve. I have a lot of strong opinions and I have no problem arguing them. I'm a very open-minded person and very tolerant of most things.
Immaturity is a big pet peeve of mine, as is self-centered, narrow-minded, and ignorant people. I can be cruel when it comes to these things, but sometimes certain people need to be told their faults. I know mine and I have no problem being confronted with them. If someone has a problem with me, online or in person, I'd rather they tell me and we can resolve the issue in a mature fashion. I won't tell you want to WANT to hear, just what you NEED to hear.
On a less serious note, I'm a laid back person and I enjoy shopping, the internet, and my favorite TV shows (Queer as Folk, The L Word, Friends, American Idol, Will & Grace, House). I don't have a large group of friends, but the ones I have are close and I love them to death. I generally enjoy life, minus the whole school deal. I'm a junior in high school and I can't wait to move on to college. I am an honors student and I hope to go to the University of South Carolina and then eventually into the medical field, possibly psychology.
If you have any questions or want advice, I'm here for ya, babes.
Website: MySpace
E-mail: lyndsey.white@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: Lexington, South Carolina
Occupation: Student
Age: 17
AIM: galelvr66
Yahoo: deviant_queen
Member Since: April 5, 2007
Answers: 416
Last Update: November 3, 2007
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A couple of weeks ago I noticed a change in my bf's behavior... he started acting like my affection was bothering him, and it felt like he was avoiding me. When we were together he was silent or he would talk about stupid unimportant things, as if we couldn't have a meaningful conversation anymore. He was so distant, but every time I asked him what was wrong and why he was acting differently, he would go mad and say that I was creating problems when there were none. So I broke up with him, and it was a hard decision. I thought he lost interest in me and I didn't want to be a burden. But ever since he's been telling me that his feelings for me haven't changed. Actually that's what he says, but he's still acting weird. And when I told him that my decision was final, he didn't even seem to be mad or desperate or anything like that, he just said he didn't understand why and that he hoped I change my mind.
I don't know what happened between us... it was so sudden! I'm afraid that I pushed him away, because I wanted to be with him all the time, and that maybe he wanted a time out... but if he loved me as much as I loved him, wouldn't he want to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with him?! (link)
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First of all, how long were you dating before he started acting differently? Relationships don't stay the way they were in the beginning. I mean, are your parents still together? Well, my parents definitely aren't as affectionate as my boyfriend and I are. I know that it's just what happens in the beginning when everything is new and exciting. Eventually, that calms down and it becomes more mellow. It doesn't mean he cares any less for you. I really don't think you should have broke up with him as quickly as you made it seem. Now, if you genuinely told him it was bothering you and made you feel like you were in his way all the time and he still didn't seem to care, that's another story.
The fact that he's saying that his feelings haven't changed for you says it all. He still likes you and wants to be with you. If you want a guy to be depressed and desperate to be with you when you break up with him, you've got a big reality check coming. He did the mature thing in saying he understood and hoped you change your mind. It doesn't mean he's not hurt, either. You can't expect guys to cry over not being with you anymore. That's just a self centered and selfish way to act.
Like I said, couples don't stay lovey dovey forever. Sometimes you need time away from that person. I know how you feel. If it were up to me, I'd be with my boyfriend 24/7, but I also know that being apart just makes it so much better when we see each other after a day or two of not being with each other. When you're with him all the time, there's no missing you, there's no anticipation of seeing you again.
I'd give him another chance, but it's up to you. If you still love him and think he's worth it, go for it. Just try to understand where he's coming from before snapping again.
Oh, and just a side note: guys generally don't like when girls ask "what's wrong?" a lot. It annoys them and gives off the impression that you're insecure in yourself and your relationship with him.
Good luck! :)
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Rating: 5
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That's exactly what I heard him say a lot, that I'm too insecure. We were together for seven months, so I suppose you're right about that. But as time goes by, I recall how many fights we had (we've just had another one, so there will obviously be no getting back together) and how different almost all of our views were, and from this distance it seems to me breaking up was the best thing to do. Thanks for a great reply nevertheless!
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