Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 89048
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Families
Parenting
View All
|
| |
Ok it seems that all my parents care is getting me to university.
There's these 4 things our teacher said we can go to: college, university, aprenticeship, and some other thing.
They say that depends on what you want to be is whether you go to university, college, etc but my dad keeps saying that university is for everything and that university are for the smarter peolple. is that true?
They don't even think about it at all, it doesn't matter what i want to be or not, all they care is getting me into a university.
I mean im the smartest in my class but I can't help but wonder, why university?
I'm about to enter high shcool is year and the stress of abandoning my friends were enough but then Im scared of entering high shcool, even though everyone says i'll do fine with my brain.
But eventually, everyone will crack at some point in high shcool. Even i did a couple of times this year. There's just no breaks! And then after you graduate high shcool you enter one of those four things for how many years! I want to be in the medical field so there will be no rest in what i have to work for and I'll be trapped in school for like 20 years! I'm very obsessed with cleaness and don't like living in apartments where other peope used to live before.
I don't know why i'm so stressed but can't you be super successful without going to university?
I mean, Ijust want a quick way out but be successful at the same time.
Ever since i was small, I imagined myself setting down in a family at a very young age
like probably 22, a house wife with kids and on some days work at soemthing medical while still shopping and hanging out with my friends, have money and finally use them in my own ways instead of my parents holding me down on what I want to buy, and just having a free life but successful at a yougn and early age and still look great or decent.
But going to university for medical reasons will make me come out really old and I won't be able to have a lot of kids or else it would make people see me as un professional and probably a slut for having a baby while i'm a doctor, a very clean reputative career.
I don't know why I'm writing this cuz it may seem far away but not really.
And some of you might say, why can't you choose a different carreer? Well i think it's because being somethign medical is the only or one of the most wise jobs to be cuz you can be a computer programer or a singer but it's really useless. You can live without listening to others sing with cds and things and you can certainly live WITHOUT a computer but in the medical feilds you can actually save a life. Can you save someone from music? It may really make you feel better but it won't heal you from dying.
Does anyone have opinions to share? any things that you agree on? I want to see if there's even a chance my dream future can happen and stay on reality instead of day dream land and get a grip on myself.
Maybe I'm holding onto such a high standard for myself?
Maybe i just want to acheive a very high goal yet still look good? Maybe I'm Vain? Maybe I'm selfish? (link)
|
I think your questions are very good ones, and normal for a girl your age. They show that you are still very young and haven't matured yet. But that is OK. It seems that your folks are putting a lot of pressure on you. And that is causing your anxiety. It really is too early to be worrying about these things. You still have high school to go through. And thinking about hanging with your fiends and going shopping and having control of your money....well yes, all those things are going to happen, but they won't be the focus of your life. Like they are now. Having all this time to hang out with friends and shop and stuff is a luxury and it is because you have no adult responsibilities yet.
Once you become an adult, whether or not you go to university, or become a doctor or a housewife. YOu and all of your friends will have full days with work and family and responsibilities, and not as much time to hang out together. But that is normal. That is what life is like when you become an adult. But not to worry. You will fall into it, and be just fine.
Wanting to be a doctor is a wonderful thing. And so would being a nurse. but these are things to keep in the back of your mind while you go through High School. Being smart and getting good grades, that is your job right now. The better your grades, the more choices you will have when you are ready for college.
And no, you won't be considered old, when you graduate from college. Only 13 year olds think that people in their twenty's are OLD. But really your twenties can be a great time in your life, when you are finally in control of your own life.
Your obsession with cleanliness could be a problem. I mean you say you want kids, well guess what, kids are messy. Can't help it, they just are. It is fine to want to be clean, and keep yourself clean and avoid messes.....but that is how you feel about yourself. You cannot expect another person, or your loved ones to place the same emphasis on cleanliness that you do. Of course you can FORCE them, but then that would be like being forced by your parents to attend university, when you don't want to go.
I hope this helps give you some insight into your feelings about the future. It is okay to have questions and be concerned about it. Is it hard you ask. Well it would certainly seem hard to a young girl who hasn't learned all that she needs to yet to be an adult and take on the responsibilities that go along with that. But you will learn more and more each year. And not just in school, but in every day life with your friends and family.
Good luck to you dear.
Michele
|
|