Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 89072
Main Categories:
Work/School Relationships
Families
Parenting
View All
|
| |
|
I had been going with this one guy for say 7 or 8 months and we did everything together, he would proceed to see me from 1 to 3 times a week and always told me from the start of our relationship that we were only friends and when he bought me things he also told me not to take it wrong as we were only friends so after about a 3 months relationship, I decided to test his feelings for me and told him that I got an offer to go to eat with someone and that was when he stopped seeing me for a couple of weeks, so after calling him repeatedly without an answer, I was almost ready to give up on us when I tried one more call and he anwered and came by to repair some stuff for me so our relationship continued for another 4 or 5 months and I did not see anyone else but I have to say I was getting bored as we did nothing for fun, he was more or less a handyman during this time, he still would not relate to me how he felt, although when I had relativies from out of state he initiated the meeting at his place and it went well. but still no talk of how he felt about me except friendship came up alot and it was not long after that I decided to test his feelings for me again and I had the chance to date someone else and we danced but that was all as I still have strong feelings for my ex- boyfriend, he always said to go have fun as he could not keep up with me and wanted me to find someone that I could have fun with and that would make me happy, but when he found out that I had gone out with someone new they drove me there, he then told me bye over the phone and that was the end of our relationship, I still think of him and miss him to no end. Can anyone tell me how I can make this right and get him to forgive me. I did not know his feelings about me at all and I found out the hard way. Oh yes I am a female and I am over 50 yrs. (link)
|
Hi, I am a female over 50 too, so I can relate. I honestly think that he is trying to control you. He tells you one thing, but does another. He says he just wants to be friends. And even treats you that way. Even though you made it obvious that you were ready for a more committed relationship, if he should change his mind. When you gave up and took him at his word and saw someone else, he says goodbye. And you let him get away with it twice. Do you want him to have it both ways? because that is what he has with you. Some guys are committment phobic, or they want total control. And that is what he has over you. It is not fair to you that he keeps you guessing about your relationship with him. And it is normal for YOU to want to be in a committed relationship. Every woman, and many men want to know that they can count on someone to be there for them His signals are not clear. He does it on purpose. And he is very good at it.
Oh don't fear for a moment, he will be back. And you'll be so glad to have him back, that you will give up all control of your life over to him, and he still won't give you the committment that you are hoping for. But you'll be extra good so he'll stay around. And you know what is going to happen......he is going to meet some woman who won't take that from him, She'll give him an ultimatum, and he'll be gone. And he'll be able to say to you, but dear, you know I always said that we would just be friends. And you won't even have any self esteem left.
You say that you did not know his feelings for you, and that you had to find out the hard way. And you say that because you think he is hurting over your actions. That's bull. He is just manipulating you. Please do yourself a favor, look for another man to be in a relationship with. A real man, not someone who manipulates women and uses them.
Do not call him. And if he calls you, tell him what a jerk he is, and that he is a poor excuse for a man, and hang up.
And stop wishing that he would return, because when God wants to punish us, he grants our wishes.
Good luck to you dear.
You sound like a wonderful person, and someone who is not used to dealing with guys like this. There are lots of them out there. Don't date anyone unless someone you know, knows them. You are too vulnerable. At least this time just your heart was broken, it could be worse you know.
Good luck to you
Michele
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
This is me again and I have to say I left out something important in my story about my ex-boyfriend, well when I was finally able to get a hold of him after my calling and calling, he told me to let him have it and to say what was on my mind, anyway after I did, he then said this out of the clear blue that he had met someone who he can play golf with and that she is rich and that she only wants him to be with her and no one else, so I then told him that that was it and I could not believe how a man who had spent so much time and money on me could turn on me like that for a stranger unless he was seeing her previously, which he might have been as there were unexplained voids in our meetings. It may be that he was playing with my feelings and only said that to make me jealous, but I will never know as I hung up on him and he has since put a block on his number so I cannot call him, I shredded ALL of his numbers so I won't be tempted to call him since then, but I gave in and wrote him quite a few emails that went unanswered. That tells me right there that he does not want me anymore. Michele, I want to thank you so much for your keen wisdom on this subject, I needed someone to help me understand this sort of man and you have made it clear to me that I should avoid all contact with him, as he is more then likely not even thinking of me or does not even care or he would not have avoided me for so long now, it has been since the end of June 07 that I last had contact with him. so with that said once again thank you for your advice. I am wishing you all the best. ************************M********************
|
|