My name is Lyndsey and I'm 17 years old. I live in Lexington, South Carolina. I pride myself on being mature for my age with a good head on my shoulders, but I find I can be snippy when I hear something that just hits a nerve. I have a lot of strong opinions and I have no problem arguing them. I'm a very open-minded person and very tolerant of most things.
Immaturity is a big pet peeve of mine, as is self-centered, narrow-minded, and ignorant people. I can be cruel when it comes to these things, but sometimes certain people need to be told their faults. I know mine and I have no problem being confronted with them. If someone has a problem with me, online or in person, I'd rather they tell me and we can resolve the issue in a mature fashion. I won't tell you want to WANT to hear, just what you NEED to hear.
On a less serious note, I'm a laid back person and I enjoy shopping, the internet, and my favorite TV shows (Queer as Folk, The L Word, Friends, American Idol, Will & Grace, House). I don't have a large group of friends, but the ones I have are close and I love them to death. I generally enjoy life, minus the whole school deal. I'm a junior in high school and I can't wait to move on to college. I am an honors student and I hope to go to the University of South Carolina and then eventually into the medical field, possibly psychology.
If you have any questions or want advice, I'm here for ya, babes.
Website: MySpace
E-mail: lyndsey.white@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: Lexington, South Carolina
Occupation: Student
Age: 17
AIM: galelvr66
Yahoo: deviant_queen
Member Since: April 5, 2007
Answers: 416
Last Update: November 3, 2007
Visitors: 27250
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How can you tell if a guy is after sex or love? I feel like I can't be objective so I'm just gonna tell you some stuff and you'll tell me what you think.. what is he after? He seems to be very interested in me even though we've NEVER kissed or held hands or had any physical contact (so that speaks for LOVE right?) ALTHOUGH I have given him strong signs that if he were to become mine, we'd do A LOT of physical stuff.. so I have planted expectations in his head. When he flirts it's usually like "i can't wait to be alone with you" "i cant wait to see you..theres all these things i want to say to you..and do to you" or "make sure you wear tasty lipgloss the next time you come over" but sometimes he also says "i miss you so much" or "Love you like a fat kids love cake" His friends all lie to him and tell him I'm a slut.. so he probably thinks I'm easy (even though I've only had one kiss and nothing else my whole life!) but he's always treated me with respect. When he wants to give me a compliment it has never been about anything physical, it's always like "you're so sweet" or "you have this quality i've never seen in any other chick" or sometimes compliments my eyes, so i dont know, i get mixed signals, and I would really want to know what he's after, cause I don't put out..
oh and one more question! lets say I'm at his house..and we're making out (which im cool with) but then he starts undressing me.. is there any way to pause the physical without saying "lets take it slow" or "I dont want to".. like is there a way to not go further withotu ruining the mood or making it awkward?! (link)
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Well there's really no way for me to TELL you if he's after love or sex. No one on this site knows him and we can't really make an accurate idea of what this guy is all about.
From your question, it sounds like you guys aren't even dating yet. Are you? If you aren't, him saying he wants to "do things to you" isn't exactly respect. If you're not dating someone but you are talking about it, and he says he can't wait to be alone with you and do things to you...it might make you feel good about yourself and it's not even a bad thing, but it's definitely not a non-sexual respect.
He seems sexually attracted to you, yes. But that does not mean that he's ONLY after sex. He is saying sweet things to you. He could be 1) trying to get into your pants by feeding your ego or 2)just being genuinely interested in you. Again, there's no way we can tell you that.
This is a difficult situation and my best advice would be to just go with the flow, try to be as objective as possible, ask your friends what they think, and use good judgment.
As for your last question, I can relate. With my last boyfriend, we did a lot of sexual things together (making out, feeling up, grinding, handjob, blowjob), but I never let him give me oral, finger me, etc. And we never had sex. Closer to the beginning, I had already "touched" him, if you know what I mean, but he hadn't even touched ME on top of my pants. One time he let his hand glide across that area and he pulled at the string on my pants. We were making out at the time and I didn't stop and say anything, I just took his hand and guided it away from my crotch onto my hip. All he did was sort of laugh into my mouth as if he was saying "hey, I had to at least try" and we went on like nothing happened. Just guide his hand away from the area that it shouldn't be and it won't be awkward. He just needs to know his boundaries. :) If he pushes it, though, you're going to have to say something to him.
Good luck!
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Rating: 5
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I found out what he was after - sex. Oh well, thx for the advice anyways, it was great.
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