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February 18, 2007Answers:
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advice
I am so depressed over this guy that I thought liked me. Well we work together at the same company. He had been flirting with me and showing an interest in me since before xmas. I was always friendly to him but had my guard up about him. I had heard he drinks a lot and is a womanizer with a bad temper. I decided to give him a chance two months ago so I started to flirt a little back. He got this love sick look in his eyes and then started stuttering around me. So I really thought he liked me. Well in the last two weeks I don't know what has changed but he's pretending he's lost interest. He flirts with other woman right in front of me. He hasn't even been very nice to me either, and acts like I don't exist. I don't know how he can be so cruel knowing that I like him. The worst part is he is the assistant manager! Does anyone have any ideas why he's being this way?
I know I sound very harsh. I apologize in advance.
My guess: he's cool, he's confident (maybe even a little cocky) and charming.
I'm also guessing that his 'cool image' is just that; an image. Granted I don't know this man but I'd bet money (usually I'm not a gambling woman) that deep down inside he's actually very, very insecure. He probably tries to compensate for his insecurity by gaining the affection of women. Watch out; when he does he'll suddenly lose interest. Because once he's 'conquered' you he'll grow bored and pursue another conquest. All in the name of his bloated ego. That's what he is; an egotist.
Try not to take it personal; because it's not. There is nothing wrong with you. This isn't even about YOU; it's about him. This is just a game that he plays...
Want to know what the game is and how it is played? He'll set his eye on a girl (the more cold she is the better; he thinks of her as a challenge) and he flirts shamelessly. Once his flirtations are reciprocated he's won the little game; time to play with someone else. Or he could be attempting to torment you by chasing after someone else; hoping that he will make you jealous and further inflate his own ego. He might even be trying to pit you against another girl; just because having two females fighting over him makes him feel good about himself.
My advice: don't play his game. Remain polite and professional and leave it at that. If he's mean to you, if he's flirting with someone else infront of you; he's acting like a child so treat him like one. Ignore him.
I can tell you from experience what will happen if you take my advice. Suddenly he will start being nice to you again and probably flirt like crazy. Don't give into him. By acting this way you've wounded his ego and beat him at his own game (though you were never playing) and he'll want to challenge you to a rematch.
Like I said: I don't know him. And everything that I said could be wrong. However I would like to point out that whether I've classified his behavior correctly or not; he's just not that into you. If he was into you he wouldn't be playing games with you; he would be asking you if he could buy you dinner. Or at the very least a cup of coffee.
Don't believe me? Run to the nearest bookstore and buy a copy of "He's Just Not Into You," by Greg and Liz. Read it, live it, love it. It is every single woman's dating bible.
(Rating: 5) Hey I think you've hit the nail in the head. I've already started to act cool around him and I think that's going to drive him crazy because he thought he had won me over. But you're right it's all just a game to him. I also heard that the reason he and his wife seperated is because he cheated on her. So he has a history of this. I think it's best to just ignore him. He's just an insecure womanizer.
thanks again!