I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
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Xenolan
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17/f
How do I tell my mom that I am pregnant? She thinks I am a virgin, so not only do I have to tell her I had sex, but I also have to tell her that I am pregnant. Ever since I was little she told me that I would be the one to most likely get pregnant first (out of my older sister and I. I just don't know how to tell her. What do I say? How long will she stay mad? (link)
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The answer to all of your questions depends on how your Mom is. If she's abusive, the previous advisor could be wrong. She may not be supportive. If she's highly religious, she may not be able to be there for you, even if she loves you.
So what would be easiest on your mom? Is your dad in your life? Would it be easier to tell him first and then break it to your mom together? Is the father of the child in your life? What about his parents? Could the two of you get all of the parents together and let them know?
Is there an adult female relative or the mom of a friend who can help you?
Here's what I would do, with a reasonably calm and mentally-stable mother. I would speak with her with the father of the child present. I'd just ask to talk to her and then say "Mom, I know you are going to be horribly disappointed and I wish I could change this (assuming you do wish that). I'm pregnant." You should try to know what you're going to do, whether you want to terminate the pregnancy or whether you want to deliver the baby. Then you will need to figure out whether you and the baby's father are going to stay together and possibly make a life together or not. Then you need to decide whether you're going to keep the baby or put it up for adoption. Let your mother know that you're aware you've let her down and apologize if it feels right to you. Be prepared for your mother to not react at all, to yell, or to cry.
It's a tough situation even with the most forgiving and understanding of parents. Good luck.
Sabine
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Rating: 5
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thanks, my father is dead so it would just be my mom i'd have to tell, and most likely our close family friend who is pretty much like my father. the childs father and i are not together anymore but we talked about getting back together and that is pretty much the plan.
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