I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
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Last Update: September 2, 2007
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Xenolan
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my best friend is middle eastren and she is muslim. she is really really cool and so open minded. she's nothing like how muslims are portrayed in the media. she goes out has fun but still respects her tradition and stuff and i respect that. recently she's been worried like crazy though. when i asked her she actually confided in me and told me whats the matter... i didn't know what to tell her so i was hoping you guys can help its very serious:
she fell in love with this muslim guy and they love each other soooo much and are planning to get married soon. in islam a girl has to be a virgin to get married and the "only solid proof" of that is if her hymen is still intact. she'as never had sex before so she IS a virgin. that we both know. however, she does masturbate... and she told me she looked it up and it is allowed in islam for her to do so if it meant not having sex before marriage. so far so good. the only problem is that she broke her hymen masturbating and culture/traditional wise no religion wise she will get in so much trouble for that. if she gets married and she doesn't bleed on her first night retributions will be bad (and i mean beyond european and north american bad... i ddnt even want to ask her about them)
now ignore all that. that was just background. my question is there anyway she can repair her hymen? or fake bleeding or something? can a gyno in the states or canada do it for her (she is there to finish college) is there anyyyyway possible to get her out of accusations she is inocent of?
please help she is really panicking... and she cant talk to her parents about it even if she showed them proof that religion does permit it.....it's her country's tradition..... (link)
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Well, it's possible that she only tore her hymen a little bit. It may tear more and bleed more when she has full, penetrating intercourse. She can try to plan her wedding for when she'll be on her period anyway. She can also 'fake' it by pulling on a hangnail or using a push pin to poke a finger or toe and making sure blood gets on the sheets if she can do that without being caught. I wouldn't normally advise anyone to be deceitful, but there is the matter of the serious consequences involved.
Best wishes to all of you.
Sabine
Since you asked for further advice, I guess what I would do is prick myself and bleed on a handkerchief. Then I'd put that hanky under my pillow on my wedding night and then pull it out from under and use it to wipe myself after sex. I might leave it lying around for a few minutes so my husband could see. Of course, honesty is the best policy, but when it's a matter of life and death, I think the crime of deception is easier to deal with. It's a hard situation to handle.
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Rating: 5
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she dsnt lie she's very honest with him and stuff but i mean i guess this is a matter of life and death... we're not sure how he'll react... and she most dfntly haaaas to bleed.... so thanks for the idea!! this cud probably work i hope :S how much blood usually results... lol i lost mine ages ago and i didn't even notice the amount of blood... and another question how can she hide the needle and stuff.... i'd appreciate the creativity coz i cant think! :S
thanx so far though!
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