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February 18, 2007Answers:
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March 2, 2010Visitors:
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(we're both 16) my boyfriend, who i have been with for nearly a year, has a mother who is very verryy sick. she has lived in a nursing home for the past few years, and lately, i just don't know what to do- this morning he got really upset, and hysterically crying because "it's not fair" and "why'd it have to happen to her" see, she has diabetes... and didn't take her medecine when she was younger, and therefore suffers from kidney, liver, and all other kinds of complications. she only has one leg, and on the other one, doesn't have a foot- they needed to be amputated for reasons that i'm not really sure of- bad blood clots or something. but the thing is, she absolutely HATES living in there and we need to know what we can do to make it better for her. i had the idea of bringing posters and decorations into her room to brighten it up, she used to be a florist so i wanted to bring her flowers... and also, just come see her alot more. she's a half an hour away from both of us, so we can't really go see her as much as we'd like... but i went to see her today and i brought her a blanket that i made her with a pocket in it for her bed remote thing... and she was happy about that... we also brought her a milkshake and food and stuff... but does anyone else have any ideas of things we could do? i can't do that much since i'm just a 16 year old girl with no job or liscense... but my boyfriend gets his tuesday... and soon after he'll probably get a job. by the way, she's the only one in there and she's surrounded by crazy people. i feel so bad about that too cause she's so nice and she's 100% sane... but the majority of the other people there have alzheimers, or are just plain senial. i couldn't imagine being completely coherent and living among people like that. so, if anyone has any advice, input, or ideas, it's all greatly welcome =) THANKS!! ♥
I'm so sorry. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers...
From what you've said... It sounds to me like she's probably very lonely. She's probably still fairly young, and to be surrounded by much older men and women that really do not possess their mind anymore... She probably feels like there is no one to talk to. So... While you may not be able to visit her as much as you would like, there is still a lot you can do. I'd try asking the hospital if she's allowed to accept phone calls and what time would be appropriate to call. That way, if you can't see her every day, at least you can call her and talk to her for a while. Sometimes just hearing the voice of someone who cares about you can take the lonliness away, even if it's just for a moment.
One thing that I think of when I hear about her situation is... She must be terribly bored. She probably spends most of her day laying in a bed and watching television. Try thinking of things that she can do while she's in the bed... Like reading for example... Ask her if she likes to read and what kind of books. Volunteer to go to the library for her. (The great thing about the library is that it's free.) And what about arts and crafts? Like knitting, crocheting, scrap-booking, making jewelry... This also might be more fun if you participate in these projects with her. Does she have a VCR or DVD player in her room? While she's still be staring at the tube, maybe seeing some of her favorite movies would get her mind off things for a while. And while this is really expensive... Maybe after your boyfriend has had a job for a while he might think about buying her a computer? Then there are computer games she could play... Or have the internet at her fingertips! There are lots of things she could be doing instead of lying in bed... Just try to think of some hobbies she might be interested in starting.
As for decorating her room... I think that's a great idea. Since she used to be a florist, and flowers are kind of expensive... Maybe you could find posters and pictures that display pictures of flowers? Also... Since you don't have a lot of money to spend, have you thought about making the decorations? Then when she looks at it, not only does she see something pretty but she can think, "Someone that cares about me made that just for me."
I hope that she starts to feel better. If you have more questions or maybe just need to bounce an idea off of someone... You know where to find me! Many blessings. ;)
(Rating: 5) thanks alot... and she can't use a phone unless it's a big emergency. but sometimes she has to go into the hospital (like if she has a seisure or yet another blood clot) she has a phone there... so we talk to her there. and i find it funny because whenever i try to do nice things for her, her family (such as her siblings [my boyfriends aunts and uncles], and other child) such as when i stayed up til like 3 in the morning making her that blanket, they teased me for it. and when i gave it to her, i said jokingly "now you better like it! i stayed up til 3 in the morning working on that thing" and she laughed and said don't worry i love it! and her brother goes "well if you stayed up that late, than that's your problem" and it was completely evident that he was just trying to make me feel dumb. and i was really hurt by that, because he was putting me down for doing something nice. that made me really upset and i just wanted to yell out "well fuck you then" (pardon my french) but i didn't... i jsut sat there and looked at my mom who immediately defended me to him and said "well she was just doing something nice and i see nothing wrong with that" he could then tell her was the bad guy. so, my boyfriend, my mom, and i are really the only ones who get an utter sense of peace out of doing good things for her, so we're basically on our own. wow, sorry i rambled on and on about this, but it's something i feel really strongly about. just so you know, my advice column is 0NEL0VEEx (they're zeros, not O's) and my email is saraemilyx09@yahoo.com feel free to contact me back if you want, whenever/however you'd like =)