I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
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Xenolan
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i love my husband with all thats in me, and i know he loves me the same. i have a toriffic marriage to a great man, he is my best friend and whats good we comfide in eachother about any and everythings. this is my question: would he love me less or get tried of me because i don't want to go to his mother house with him sometimes?
can love ever be misunderstood for infatuation or what seperate love from infatuation, whats the defferents between them? answer if you can..thanks (link)
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Okay, first, my background, so you know why I'm qualified to answer: I'm 34 yo female, married ten years next month to a man I adore. We dated 5 years before getting married and didn't have sex until more than a year after we met (he was overseas for 5 months). We have a kindergarten-aged child.
My husband doesn't like going to my mother's house. It's boring and he's allergic to the cat. He always ends up playing with the kids because the other adults can't be bothered or want the kids to play by themselves and I'm busy chatting. No problem. I ask him to go about once a year. I don't mention it to my mother. I always say simply that he can't get the time off of work and that works because we're in a different state from my mother. Sometimes I don't go to visit his mother, whom I cherish completely, because I think sometimes men want to be with their moms without the wife along. They can talk about things they may not be able to discuss openly when I'm there, such as how much better her meatloaf is than mine. They can reminisce about childhood events without me getting bored and changing the subject. It doesn't make me any less a part of the family.
That being said, you must not have been married long. Your husband should realize that everyone needs alone time and it's okay to ask for it. You probably could use some time alone just to watch t.v. or talk on the phone or go shopping or sleep in or whatever. Don't be shy or afraid you'll hurt him. Just ask for it.
So the difference between love and infatuation, to me, is that love is a selfless, enduring affection and need for the other. Infatuation is self-centered and fleeting. When you're in love with someone, you let him go if that's what's best for him. With infatuation, you'd do anything to keep him there with you because you're more concerned about yourself. Love may start out with infatuation and grow, but infatuation does not last long because it does not make for a balanced, sustainable relationship.
So if you go to dinner at your in-laws' house every Sunday, perhaps your husband and in-laws would understand if you made other plans 1 time each month.
Hope it works out.
Sabine
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Rating: 5
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i appreciate your responds,some things you say i agree with but not everything. in responds to infatuation; thats a feeling that tells you different when your heart longs for them. love is selfless yes but it comes with much more understanding, respect,and thoughts of that person rather than yourself, so infatuation never fleets it does grow into compassion and love.
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