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Q: So here goes:
I'm 14/f and you guys are probably wondering "What has she been through? She's only 14."
Well, my grandpa left when I was young because of cancer. My uncle promised that he'll be with me forever and that he'd quit smoking. Now he's dead from lung cancer. My grandma, I adore and love, is getting ill everyday. I hate the fact that my family members are slowly going away. In addition to that, I've let one too many guys take my heart and break it into pieces. Now I'm afraid of letting anyone get close to me. IF a guy likes me, & even if I like him back, I find myself running away from the guy and pushing him away. If I have a friend that I really enjoy having around, I'll find ways to ruin the friendship. If I have a crush, I'll force myself to forget about him/her and convince myself that I'm just going to end up hurt again.
I just find myself secluding myself from people everyday in fear of letting them hurt me. I feel like if I push them away, when they leave, it won't hurt as much. I know I'm hurting my friends and family by doing this but I can't help it. I really want to stop myself but I can't...can someone please help me get over this?
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omg bbz after reading your entry i was practically in tears - i've experienced exactly the same problem regarding pushing people away to spare yourself the pain of them hurting you or betraying your trust...
My advice to you is not to do what i did - i took up kickboxing and wound up with the attitude of being civil to ppeople and having a laugh with them expecting each second of laughter to be the last so that i wasn't as dissapointed when it happened! I met this guy and he was unbelievable - i fell in love...truely in love, amd i never wanted to have to lose him and go through that pain but the fact that i wouldnt open up to him made him think i didnt trust him....i look back at this now and realise that he was the one for me...and i threw that away!
You're prbably thinkin 'i need help not your life story' but i do have a point...Basically i'm hoping that by sharing this with you, you will see that not everyone is out to hurt you, you're hurting yourself by not giving them a chance...
If someone enters your life and at that moment it feels good/right let it happen...if time passes and you get closer to them and you feel free and trusted go with it...And if anything should happen that hurts you, remember these good times and think - well i'm hurting now, but the last few weeks/months/even years have been amazing....You never know - you could end up finding the one for you, just like i did - only you will have the sense not to throw it away!
I hope this helps you somehow
Best of Luck
Biker-chic
-xXx-
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bio
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I have had many issues with bullying and negativity at home as well as many other negative and unfortunate incidences in my life.
It is because of all of this negativity and heartbreak that i am who i am today, as in some ways i have become a stronger person.
It is due to this that i decided to put together an advise column for which anyone who has issues such as i have, can have someone to talk to who has experienced it themsleves or can relate to their issues. My advice column is for people of all ages with any sort of problem and it is strictly confedential. E-mail me with your problems and i will reply as soon as i can with advice on the situation at hand.
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Info
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Website: E-mail: Gender: Female Location: Birmingham AIM: MSN: biker_chic_kg@hotmail.co.uk Member Since: September 25, 2006 Answers: 20 Last Update: May 14, 2007 Visitors: 2115
Main Categories:
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