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ok sorry if this is long...
so i'm 14/f and in 8th grade. and back when i was in sixth grade me and this guy jamie really liked each other. but we always pretended we didn't, but we both knew we liked each other. then, half way through sixth grade he moved to hong kong, like actually to live there. we talked online a little bit and we both admitted that we liked each other. then during 3rd quarter that year i started going out with this guy ben. well, school in hk wasn't working out for jamie, so he came back for 4th quarter. but i was still going out with ben then, so jamie stopped flirting with me. but i dumped ben before jamie went back to hong kong, and then we flirted. so anyway, during 7th grade i talked to jamie a little bit and we both play tennis, so he said that over the summer we should play tennis together. well i forgot about it, but over the summer i got a call from him about "taking me up on that tennis match". so we played tennis and then he asked me to go to a movie with him, then he went back to hong kong. so then this year, he came back here for a week for his friend's bar mitzvah. he kind of talked to me a little, but very, very little. i think he liked me over the summer (maybe) but he's coming back this summer and i want to know what i should expect. i am willing to have a long distance relationship with him, but what should i do about it? call him when he's in town? we go to the same country club, so i'll see him at tennis, but i really want to have a relationship with him. what should i do? thanks so much

helloo. :] hah, you don't have to apologize for the length .. the more detail the better! besides, i'm here to listenn. long distance relationships can work.. you have to be sure that you really really truellyy like jamie and have hope in the fact that you two will be together in the future .. both emotionally as well as physically. in a way, it's almost like an imaginary friend if you're never gonna actually get to be with this person for a period of your life.

but there are a few things that can get in the way at times in a long distance relationship- distrust, temptation, and loss of interest. one, you might find it hard to build trust with him because for all you know, he could be with plenttyy of other girls in hongkong and you would never find out. that thought tends to tear at people's mindss. also, you might have the temptation to be the cheater. with him gone .. you might think, what harm will it do to be with someone else if he's never gonna know? and that would end up overwhelming you with guilt in the long run. lastly, without excitement in a relationship .. you might just lose interest and realize that you've been with someone for so long and youve gotten nothing out of it. you might find it pretty boring after a while just communicating via email, IM, or phone every now and then.


if i were you, i would consider things like that before you commit to this relationship. i promise there are other fish in the sea, ones that you won't have to drill a hole into the core of the earth to get to. i'm sorry if this response was a little pessemistic, but it's just my view on it and i personally find a long distance relationship not much of a relationship at all if you aren't experiencing a head-over-heels-i-need-to-call-this-person-my-own kinda feeling. i hope ie helped somehoww !

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