Here's the story. From 4th grade all the way up to 8th I had a crush on the same guy. Simon, I'm not even gonna lie about his name. We had this kind of hate-love relationship. Basically, we pretended to hate eachother, he would "bully" me (i would enjoy it) he'd make fun of me, and I'd make fun of myself, and it was all good cause it gave us a reason to talk to eachother which we enjoyed. In 9th grade, for no real reason, we stopped talking. It got awkward, we'd just avoid eachother, and pretend we'd never met.
I couldn't get over it. Get over HIM, to be exact.
But it was okay, cause in a year we'd both be going to highschool and never had to see eachother again, I'd HAVE to get over him.
To my surprise, first day of school.. first thing I see is him. GREAT. great great great. This sucked, and it has for two years (yes, I'm almost a senior now, and I'm still talking about the same guy I did in 4th grade!) For the whole first year, it killed me to see him. I'd skip lunch and ceratin classes to avoid him, just cause I thought it was awkward, plus I didn't want to run into him sense I usually dont look that great at school. I would kinda "facebook stalk" him, if you know what I mean. But then this year, I decided to get over him, completely. So I blocked him, deleted him, FORCED myself to stop thinking about him. And it worked, it got less awkward, and thank the lord all mighty I got over him!
Yesterday, I saw him holding hands with one of the girls from my old school. I used to be popular in my old school, she used to be a loner. The tables have turned. And now she has the guy I want(ed) too!
It's hard to explain what happened when I saw him, but I kind of stopped breathing, and started crying, and fainted. I had to make up this silly excuse to everyone that I was having an allergic reaction.
I mean I knew they liked eachother, it had accured to me, and I knew they were probably gonna start dating, but still it was so hard for me to see that. I really had no right to react that way, we both hate eachother now, and we never even got close to dating (he didnt like me like that) so it was stupid that it affected me. Especially, since I have a new crush that likes me back and it's going good.
Now I just can't wait to graduate, get away from this guy.
But are there any tips on making it easier until then (there's more than a year left!)? Something I should say to him maybe?
[dont want to confess my feelings, since they're in the past - i AM over him. Don't want to tell him i regret losing him as a friend - but any other suggestions would be great, cause I feel so weak around him. Both physically AND mentally]
Thank you if you actually read all that!
Hmmm...
Do you really think he'd tell his girlfriend and his friends what you said if you told him? Even if he does, do you think he'd tell them so he could have someone to laugh at you with? I doubt he's that much of an asshole.
Lies only lead to more pain, so do keeping things in. You're never going to see him again. I'd recommend telling him the truth. Not something from a speech, so don't write one, but something from the heart. Tell him abotu what you've felt towards him for all those years, tell him you regret losing him as a friend.
I understand you don't want to confess your feelings, but I think it's because you're afraid of the results. you're afraid of confronting him. Don't be afraid, you'll feel a lot more relieved once you tell him.
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(Rating: 5)
I believe you are right, I'm just to much of a chicken to actually do that..
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