About tissuesforissues
I am not a shrink, a therapist or a social worker in any way shape or form. However, I have had a great deal of life experience that's given me the ability to listen well and give good, healthy advice, whether it be for relationships, career, family or just something you need to get off your chest.
As an added bonus, I have a good sense of humor. That doesn't mean I'll make light of your issues. It just means I might say something to lighten your perspective, or give you something to chuckle at. Laughter isn't the best medicine for everyone, but it does help a little to put things in perspective and cope.
And since I'm a native New Yorker, I've seen and heard almost everything. What sets me apart from most New Yorkers, is that I actually give a damn. But I tell it to you straight, cause my policy is advice without any bull.
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Website: Tissues For Issues
Gender: Female
Location: New York City
Occupation: Writer
Age: 29
Member Since: March 30, 2007
Answers: 12
Last Update: May 31, 2007
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Get ready for this one, it might be a bit long.
Okay well my boyfriend and I had plans for today to get together so he could meet my cousin. Instead he gets drunk, calls me telling me that he can't come over but he wants me at his friends house to hang out at a party with him, then proceeds to tell me that I cannot bring my cousin who I never see. When I tell him no I can't just leave my cousin here he goes on saying oh well there are plenty of hott girls here who want to take their clothes off. Then I just tell him I was hanging up and he didn't even say just kidding or try to stop me he simply says k bye. That really got to me and I messaged him on myspace saying how he treated me was really wrong. He just replied back by saying soooo many b**ches so little time then he says where is the ky (as in the lubricant) G** Da** it.
So what I want to know is how do I let him know what he is doing to me is making me have suicidal thoughts. He really is a great boyfriend when he isn't drunk so I don't plan on breaking up with him. But how do I just let him know what he does hurts me.
Hey there.
I'm sorry to hear that a caring, forgiving person such as yourself is being so severly mistreated by someone who doesn't know how to love you properly - and doesn't know how to love himself properly either.
Too often, intoxication is used as an excuse for some of the worst behavior out there. But the fact of the matter is, at some point you have to stop making excuses. HE is the one that decided to pick the bottle up and let things get out of control. HE is the one that has issues that he needs to deal with, but instead he's escaping into alcohol, and taking all his inner demons out on you. There is no other way to say this - he's an alcoholic, and until he faces that fact and truly wishes to change that aspect of himself, he will continue to mistreat you, and everyone else around him. "So many b**tches, so little time" ??! - haha! He wishes. There's nothing attractive about a drunk, loud-mouthed, abnoxious jerk who can't hold his liquor, and I can pretty much guarentee you that there's not a "hot girl" in sight that wants to get near his sorry ass.
There's that old saying - "I can do bad by myself." You may feel lonely on your own, but honey - he's being such a terrible person right now, he's making you feel a hell of a lot worse than lonely. Its completely unfair to you, and you don't deserve this. You deserve someone who will return the care, concern and love that you're giving to him too generously, and that he's not taking the time to appreciate.
Unfortunately, there are instances in life where words will just come up short. This is one of those instances. This guy's treating you horribly...but you don't break it off, no matter how harmful it is towards you. So he's probably got it into his head, "I can do whatever I want, and they'll be no consequences."
At this point, actions are the only thing that will let this person know that you are hurt by what he does and you won't tolerate it. Its time to get angry, stop calling, stop sending email, and send him packing honey. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER and the last thing he deserves is your time and energy! You sound like such a sweet girl - and you can do so much better. And IN NO WAY is he worth you taking your own life - the fact that he'd even make you THINK of that is the worst thing in the world !! Its just more proof that this guy is just plain poison. The world is a better place because you're in it. You have a lot of other boyfriends, better times, and a lot more life ahead of you...and suicide is just plain unfair - to you.
Feelings of suicide are overwhelming and serious, and I'm begging you to seek out someone that's close to you that you trust, someone you know that cares about you, to just talk about it. Your feelings deserve to be acknowledged and cared for, and I think you know deep down who your true friends are - and this guy aint one of em. Try to surround yourself with family and friends right now, who you know are going to return the same caring attitude you try to give out. When your inner strength is built up, and you're surrounded by more positive people and fewer negative, it shows, and you'll start to feel a lot better about yourself. When you start treating yourself really well, you attract those who'll want to treat you just the same. before you know it, the RIGHT kind of guys will start to come along, and mr. alcoholic putz will just be a distant memory.
Hang in there - and Good Luck!
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(Rating: 5)
Not exactly what i asked, and no he isn't an alcoholic this was the second time he had alcohol
Rating changed by a L2 moderator. - hailebop
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