Member Since:
February 18, 2007Answers:
157Last Update:
March 2, 2010Visitors:
13340about
advice
1st Scenario: School has really been a bore for me. You know, the grades are fine and everthing, but the personal balance of my life sucks and gets worse by the day. It's affecting me and it's making me cold, and I don't want that. I know where it's coming from. I just feel ashamed so I'm going to need help w/ these brief scenarios.
2nd Scenario: I liked this guy who I used to flirt around with a lot. I read w/ my sense of intuition that he really was feeling me, so I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel. He's friends w/ my x-x boyfriend though. Anyway, he didn't call me but he still talks to me very much in class. More than twice he has told me that he's meant to call. I think I should give up and move on which I've done in a way. But he keeps coming around, he's sweet guy really. I don't want to fall too hard though. Help me with this one.
3rd Scenario: Two months ago, I was talking to a guy who I would've never thought that I'd be talking to. And well, we got in an arguement around superbowl time and two weeks later he had a girlfriend. Now I feel ashamed whenever I see him b/c of the way I acted, but he was too playful and I'm too serious. I feel like I've lost out on something and cannot bare to see him alone or w/ his girl, who he always hugs or kisses on the forehead whem I'm around. Help me please. I feel ashamed, like I missed out.
Fourth Scenario: An ex-boyfriend of mine cheated on me. He calls me from time to time when I'm talking to someone supposedly. I don't know. Those feelings for him are somewhat, not strongly there, it's just he's there. He's here and I somehow and still lingering. Help.Once I wanted to get w/ him like a week or two ago but I didn't follow through. I couldn't b/c of what his friend who happens to be my friend in the 5th scenario said something discouraging.
Fifth Scenario: My friend, hasn't really been much of a friend this year. He's a senior, he's busy I understand, plus he has a girlfriend. But I don't understand how we could be so close once and then can just barely stand each other at all. Today, at least four times, we argued and I hit him. The blow I wanted to hit him w/ was soft but the way I felt at that moment was far from the old playful feeling that I used to get. I wanted to hurt him. We're different and I've accepted the transition between us. And today, he said things to hurt me. Everyone else were saying how you need to get a man, and that bothers me, NOW THAT IM NOT LOOKING FOR ONE. But when he said it twice, I felt embarrassed, ashamed, lonely, demure, outcast. It definitely shut me up. Why does he have to be so harsh, when like 7 months ago we were really close? I don't even like to see his face and that hurts very much. Too much
Thanx for the help it's long but I need all I can get. Thanx again very much. I've given up on the guys here, no I'm not gay, just no longer looking and that's sad.
If you're still in high school the opposite sex doesn't need to become the main focal point of your life. Even if you're not in high school it still doesn't. There's more to life than being in a relationship. You can be happy out of relationship. And usually... It's not until you're happy outside of a relationship that you can have a healthy relationship.
I wouldn't suggest dating any of these guys. If a guy cheats on you... He's just not that into you. If a guy doesn't wait for you and picks another girl to be his girlfriend... He's just not that into you. If you tell a guy how you really feel and he can't find the time to pick up the phone and talk to you about it... He's just not that into you.
And you should read the book, "He's Just Not That Into You." It will take the guess work out of a lot of your interactions with opposite sex and give you valid examples of how a guy acts when he IS into you.
If you are feeling ashamed about any of your past behavior... Swallow your pride and your fear and apologize. "I'm ashamed of my behavior and I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry." It's simple, though hard to do. But once you do it you'll feel better. Maybe not today or tomorrow... But eventually you'll be glad you did. You may be hurt if your apology isn't accepted. But don't beat yourself up. Everyone screws up. Don't fear or be ashamed of your mistakes. Ask yourself what you can learn from your mistakes, resolve to do better next time, and be proud that you have taken one more step towards being the person you want to be. Mistakes are valuable. The difference between a person that lives with regret and a person that looks in the mirror with a clear conscience is perspective.
Are you feeling out of balance and cold because of your love life? Don't. Like I said... There's more to life than romantic relationships. Infact... Everyone needs time to be single. It's an important part of your delevopment as a individual. Use this time to focus on YOU. Now is a time of discover... An opportunity to pursue what YOU want. Take it. You'll be glad you did. ;)
(Rating: 5) Thank you very much for replying to such a long question. Your answer was sincere and really well thought out. I appreciate it a lot. It's what I've known and needed to hear. Again, thanx...