Gender: Female
Location: los angeles
Member Since: February 24, 2007
Answers: 143
Last Update: July 22, 2007
Visitors: 7646
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This will be verry long, but please bear with me and help.. I am desperate for advice right now..
I feel like there is no reason for me to live anymore. The past week my friends have stood me up and lied to me. My mom is a huge alcoholic so all she does is yell at me (like now), blaming me for her personal problems. My dad is always angry at me. I never know why, actually. I am always doing something that makes him mad. Whenever I have something to say, nobody listens. Usually they later regret it but that doesn't stop from ignoring me again. Also, my cousin cheerfully (at least it seemed like it) said I am invited to her birthday party. It would be a huge blast since she just turned 18. She said she would tell me when to get there.. but later after asking she never responded back, because she never told me. So she went without me. First of all, this meant SOO much to me because I haven't seen her in months, so I was looking forward to it.
She also did this a few other times so I wouldn't consider it an accident. She never wants to take me anywhere.
It's the same with my friends. I post bulletins on Myspace, saying how hurt I am or something, and nobody cares to reply back. You'd think out of 100 friends, one of them would, right? No.
I feel hated, betrayed, and lied to. I feel like I am everyone's punching bag.
I am mentally ill, actually. I have attempted suicide numerous times, once ending up in the ER. I get panic attacks and mental breakdowns. I do see my school counselor, but all she can do is calm me down. She doesn't help the problem, she just helps the way I feel. But I want the problem to be helped because all it does is it gets worse. I am sick and tired of being treated all crappy. I do nice things for people but the favor is never returned. Usually I don't expect any to be but I never get one returned.
My parents refuse to get me to a Psychologist. The most I can do right now is school counseling. I live in a crappy city so there is no shelters nearby or anything.
I want to die. I want to be gone. I am sure if I do die, everyone will be happy because right now everyone just gets mad at me for no reason. I have done nothing wrong, but I blame mysef everyday for just existing.
What can I do?? PLEASE HElP!!=[
ps - please don't ignore this because I know this site gets many questions about depression and suicide, and I know I am annoying you people for adding on to it. But I am ill, and I need help. Thanks. (link)
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I'm not going to ignore you because I understand. My parents were mentally and physically abusive. In high school I used my school counselor like a psyschologist too. Glad she was there and you are doing the right thing by seeing her. She has experience in these matters.
don't understand why your parents would refuse to get you a psychologist after your suicide attempts. Perhaps if you school counselor would recommend it your parents would listen. I have known people who have tried to kill themselves and ended up on a 72 hour mandatory stay in the psychiatric ward. However, I do not recommend nor do I want you to try to kill yourself again. I assure you, no one would be happy you were gone. Your mom would probably bitch about having to pay for the funeral.
Even when you do nice things for people it certainly doesn't mean they will go out of there way to do anything nice for you. Unfortunately that's the way people are. Most people are takers but not givers.
Your mom is an alcoholic so don't expect her to help you. She's to busy being a drunk. That's why she's always screaming at you. She has an addiction problem. It's not your fault she screams.
ever hear that song by Eric Clapton entitled No one loves you when you're down and out? Basically some people just can't be bothered to be around some one who is depressed. It brings them down.
I did not get the professional help I needed until I was 18 and moved out of my parents house.
By chance is there a free clinic close to your home? If so go there. Do you have grandparents? if so go there.
If you feel like a punching bag I think you should get your own punching bag and hit it when ever you want. I had one hanging in my closet until I recently moved.
You are not annoying people by asking for help.
please don't try to commit suicide again. I know things are bad right now but you have a future.
Send me a private message and I will give you me private e mail. You can get through this. Think of it as a dark cloud or a storm and remember that after every storm there is a rainbow.
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Rating: 5
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thanks for the help.. i am feeling slightly better now. so when i get upset again i'll probably drop a question in your inbox. thanks for taking the time to help.
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