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October 31, 2006Answers:
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I am 21 and a bit of a "nerd." I love to be around girls, but I have always been shy, and I have not had many dates. The dates I've had were just dinner and a movie and then take the girl back to her home, and I'd go back to mine, and maybe we'd talk by phone later, and go out again sometime, but nothing more. All pretty innocent stuff; rarely even a kiss.
But recently I met an attractive girl in one of my glasses and things are different this time. She was hard not to notice because she often wears short skirts or shorts (when the weather permits), and she has really nice long legs and a great body to match. We have gone out several times. After the first three dates where we did nothing but kiss, we began getting a little more intimate. Since our fifth date, she has given me a handjob on every date. Of course I enjoy it and would do practically anything to have her do it to me. But here is my concern: She seems like a nice person, and even has certain Christian values, goes to church regularly, and other stuff. Yet, she tells me that she has given most of her other guy friends handjobs. When she told me that, I felt a whole lot less special, and so I asked her why she did it. She told me simply that she thought "guys like it", and she saw nothing wrong with doing for them what they do for themselves all of the time. She says she's a virgin and will not have intercourse until marriage. Now, everything else about the relationship seems to be going well except for my knowing that she gives guys what they want (within limits). I am not very experienced with dating and with girls. Is this normal behavior in dating? Did I grow up in such a conservative environment that I never learned about these things? Or, is she not the "nice" girl that I thought she is? If this is the case, I want to get out of this relationship as soon as I can find the courage. I just don't know what is "normal" dating behavior, and what to expect. Is this what people do on dates? Do girls and guys our age (were both 21 now, and we were 20 when we met) do these things (i.e., have manual sex) fairly casually? Or, is my "nice" girlfriend really promiscuous?"
Oh, sweetie..i'm seventeen and feel that i've seen more of the world than you..obviously you were rather sheltered..if you like it, don't complain..who says you have to be a pristine, nice young gentleman...and every girl has a wild side..and also, what is wrong with a girl that may be a little promiscuous? even though giving a handjob is not really promiscuous...sex is usually a part of a normal relationship..it's okay..what you're doing is not wrong..don't stress
(Rating: 5) This is really my first "sexual" experience. I grew up in a home where ALL sexual behavior was supposed to be off limits until marriage, and if anyone did anything sexual outside of marriage, then that person was a really bad person--forever. So, now if a girl offers me any sort of sex and I accept, I feel pretty guilty, even at 21. It's hard to get rid of the feeling that I am being bad and the girl is also bad. So, that's part of the problem.
But beyond this problem there is also a feeling of enjoying being around this girl--she makes me laugh, we talk about a lot of stuff, she makes me feel really good, and really special. But then I don't feel like I can get totally comfortable with her because she has done the same with other guys too. But I guess that's always the case no matter who I date, right? Most girls have made other guys feel special, at one time or another. I mean I'm not the first guy most girls will have ever dated. I just need to accept that. Anyway, thanks for the reply. I can relate to it better than the first person's reply. You seem much older than 17.