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I met a new friend a few months ago. He's pretty cool but we are pretty much exact opposites. He can be really moody sometimes and takes things out on other people. He wallows in self pity and always complains about how life isn't worth it. Then he gets irritated by me whenever I have a different opinion and express it.

I've tried talking about this with him and it isn't working.
I really can't afford to lose him as a friend though even though he isn't much of a friend sometimes.
Still, I can't afford to lose him since he knows way too much about me.
And he is really fun to talk to when he's not in one of his moods.

Any advice on how to deal with him? Besides for talking it out, which I've tried numerous times?

Punch him in his face.

But seriously, I think everyone has a friend like that/ or at least did at one point. Unfortunately like most forms of depression it's pretty much a personal inner war with themselves. It doesn't really matter what you say (unless you're helping him rip on himself), because it's all about how he feel about/ see himself.

My advice is to first try cheering him up by hanging out with him etc.

(Note: If you're a girl that you think he could potentially like and you don't feel the same way about him, don't lay it on too thick because he will be much more moody if he likes you and you turn him down. At the same time, don't go on like a pity-date with him; it may temporarily make him feel better, but he won't change.)

If the whole spending time with him and/or cheering him up and looking at the positives of his life does work, try judging the negatives of his life. Example, say he's upset or moody about people not calling him to hang out, ask him whether or not he would call somebody up if they were in an upset mood, or find out if he's been try to call anybody himself.

If all else fails, try the tough love approach and maybe spend some time apart. Sometimes moody people use their friends as their outlet for their complaints and are ever-so slightly content being the the #1 winner of the #1 loser award among their friends.



Anyways it's really late/early here I wouldn't be surprised if none of this makes any sense to you (/or me if i re-read it later)


So I'll just end this by giving the simplest advice on this matter.

NEVER give sympathy or pity to his causes, it just fuels the fire.
(while it's not much better, it is better to be apathetic than to be sympathetic to their woes.)

Best thing to do:
Skip the sympathy and go right to try to help him find a solution to his problem(s).

If he doesn't want your help then there is nothing you can do.

...but punch him in his face.

[view]

(Rating: 5) Great advice. Yes, I'm a pretty apathetic person. I hate how he always looks for pity.
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