I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
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Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
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MY boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year, but for the last couple months we've been going out in secret while he rebuilds the friendships he lost. Innocent right? Not really.
Now, all he does is joke around about liking these other girls and then will be like "jk, i love you". He hurts me all the time. His myspace doesnt have one mention of me, his 'girlfriend' and 'best friend' but at least 5 things for this other girl. He wrote this poem to my other friend and now he's entering into a contest. He's always in a bad mood around me but act likes the perfect guy around everyone else. I understand he's trying to get his friends back, but I really want to be treated like I mean something to him. Online, he hardly talks to me! Sometimes 10 minutes will elapse before he'll say "ok" or "cool". I don't know what to do! The only time he acts like a real boyfriend is when we're hanging out just the two of us. He always sends me parts of conversations with other girls that I don't want to see and I tell him not to send it but he does anyways.
Am i just overreacting, or reading too much into it? I'm pretty sure he loves me, but all his 'jokes' about liking other girls is starting to make me question our relationship. I feel forgotten and talking to him about it makes everything worse. He just says I complain too much or im 'abusive'. I love him so much and I'm so confused! All the stuff he used to do to me he does for other people while i just stand on the sidelines being jealous.
Help!!
Reading this over i sound ridiculous but I'm really hurt and this whole this is both emotionally and physically draining. (link)
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I can see why you would feel hurt and drained. What I can't see is why your boyfriend needs to be 'single' to rebuild friendships. In fact, I would question how genuine his friendships are if he's hiding his relationship from the other people.
While your boyfriend may claim you are abusive, from your post it appears the opposite is true. Keeping you secret, repeatedly throwing other girls in your face despite you asking him not to, ignoring you online, and being in a bad mood around you despite being happy with others - all of this is not the actions of a boyfriend who respects and cares for his girlfriend.
While it might be painful to comtemplate the relationship ending, it's definitely worth taking some time to decide if you are genuinely happy with the way things are - and if you could stay with someone who treated you this way.
I wish you the best.
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