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Q: Okay, I have a wonderful boyfriend. He's my best friend in the whole world, we talk about anything and everything. Trust is not an issue and never has been in about 7 months of dating. (And about a year of a friendship before that.) I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We've discussed all the issues that need to be discussed, such as our views on children, religion, and our personal goals for education and career, etc.
But I have another factor affecting my life that he doesn't know about, not because I don't trust him enough to tell him, but because of the huge impact that it would have on my life, my family, and him if I were to tell him. I have never told anyone about this and now that I've found love I see how stupid I've been in keeping it a secret and what the consequences of doing so could be. I feel like I have to tell him, and that if I just tell him everything would be okay, but I don't know. I don't know how he would take it or how my family would take it, and I know that it could possibly ruin a lot of things that I've worked for. I know I'm being a bit vague, but I need help on how to introduce this to my boyfriend and how to help him realize that it's not his fault that I haven't told him. And I think I need his help in introducing it to my parents as well.
Quite frankly, this is a huge leap into the unknown and I don't know how to make it. Has anyone had similar experiences that might help me sort through this?
Thanks in advance.
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Well, since you haven't specified what it is, I can't say for sure whether it's something he needs to know. Although, I'm not sure if I'd like the entire internet knowing my deepest darkest secret as wel, so it's cool. =P But judging from what you've said, it's something you feel he should know. I can see you've given a lot of thought to this, so you know what possible consequences could be. You never know how people can react tot elling them something big, no matter how much you trust them. However, it's obviously important that he knows.
Make sure you do it in person. I know it would be much easier and less confrontational to do it over the internet or phone, but something big needs ot be done in person. Sit him down, and say you want to discuss something with him. Explain to him that it has been difficult for you to tell him this, but since you deeply care about him you feel he should know. After you've told him, ask him how he feels about this and what his reaction is. You'll probably find it's nowhere near a big deal as you thought! And I'm sure you'll feel much better once he knows.
Good luck.
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Thank you very much, I can't express how what you said has helped.
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: Melbourne, Australia Occupation: Student Age: 18 MSN: a_red_hot_oasis_day@hotmail.com Member Since: February 5, 2005 Answers: 188 Last Update: July 28, 2006 Visitors: 20402
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