Ask XmeXohXmie!

13/m Hey all, I've got the longest story in the world to tell, but nobody wants to hear that. Basically, over the summer I realized that I loved one of my best friends, I told her, she's not sureherself how she thinks of me. And I'm not talking about any of that crap teenage infatuation. I know infatuation. I know love. This is love. Well, last night, I dreamt about her =D The last time I dreamt about her, I dreamt that I asked her out. I asked her out the next day but to no avail. Of course, I've been thinking about her and only her for months, ever since I discovered my true feelings. It's been making me fail my classes---like for example we just got our progress reports, and normally, I'm really really smart, I'm in all the advanced courses, but I got an F in science...

Last night I dreamt about her. It was in the middle of French class, which is weird because she takes Spanish, and her ex was there, as were my parents... anyway, at random when Madame (insert her name here) was in the bathroom, she told me how she felt: "Hey, (my name), I've been thinking, and I realized that I actually do like you as more than a friend." And she smiled, and we hugged, and I danced around the room. I made an idiot of myself, but I was too happy to care! She finally loved me back!

Well, the dream ended as we were about to kiss, because I don't think you're supposed to know what that feels like until you actually experience it. Now, why am I so obsessed with this dream? I'm not very religious, and I'm not superstitious in the least. I don't even believe in luck, with drawing cards from a deck or flipping a coin---there are variable factors that affect the outcome. So why should I be asking a question to 10,000 columnists about some stupid dream? The one supernatural belief that I have is in telekinetics, telepathy, and psychics. Especially between twins (it's a proven fact) or in dreams. Dreams frequently predict the future in my experiences, and my sister's, and my friends', and everyone's. So why should this be any different?

It feels like I'm writing a persuasive essay right now... Another reason why is because last time something like this happened, it was when I e-mailed her how I felt (I'm way too shy) not knowing that she was on vacation with no internet connection. Well, about five minutes after I went outside to play basketball, I started thinking about her a LOT. When I came in, I checked my e-mail, and one of them was from that exact time as when I was thinking about her so much!

But I guess the biggest reason of all... is because I love her so much and I just really want her to love me back, and my mind will do anything to make me believe that there's hope when there actually isn't. For all you DnD fans out there, if you have the Unearthed Arcana book, flip to the part about the sanity points. Well, it feels like I just lost all my sanity points. In a nutshell, it sucks to be me. What should I do???

P.S. I already started keeping a diary of stuff, as of 3 days ago... not really helping...

[view]