Hey, please no wise-cracks. I really don't want to deal with them right now.
Just a forewarning, this is a long one.
Everything at school used to be so easy. Then I got prescribed an anti-acne drug, and hit puberty - somewhere in there something went missing, went wrong. In the years since then, I've kind of slowly lost my purpose, occasionally it would come back, but I have no real "Drive" anymore. That is mainly what worries me. I have become the model of apathy, all the while worrying about it. I suppose that a lot of psychologists would call it depression, and try to make me "better". They would ask if I had suicidal thoughts and everything. The problem is that I live because I am living. I have suicidal thoughts, that don't MEAN anything, and I don't WANT to die - and I don't even know why, because I don't care about much anymore. I care, and I don't care. I wish I had real "fair-weather" friends, while at the same time I can't break away from my poisonous ones. My schoolwork is important, and I screw myself up worrying about it, when I could get it done so much faster without worrying, and be happy in my spare time. I don't even know why my schoolwork is important anymore, but I don't want to sacrifice it, because I know it would screw up the rest of my life. I play computer games, because I don't want to do homework, and I don't have the will to do anything that I need to do, or want to do. I keep a list of things I want to do when I have spare time, instead of wasting my life playing computer games, but somehow I feel that I will never do them, because I just go back and addict myself to a computer game. I know that I NEED to do things, and that I am screwing up my life, and I still just CAN'T find the discipline to DO anything.
So my question in short;
How do I find my will?
How do I discipline myself to do things that matter?
How do I find the courage to make new friends?
How do I shake that constant feeling of knowing I've been put in to boxes, and nobody knows who I am, and actually find people who will help me to feel happy?
Hmm.
I'm a very life changing type of person. Talk to me and you'll be freed from all those teen problems. Your constant following of trends having you buying all this crap at overpriced amounts of money. Among other things.
From the many people I've talked to, well....They usually get pissed at first because the way I think is the exact opposite. It at first may be a crappy way to look at everything...but then it becomes comforting. Why? Because you can sit back and laugh.
Bring your problems to me. For I shall solve them. Or not, shit, I dont care.
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(Rating: 2)
You presumed a lot, and didn't answer the question. I don't follow trends, I don't buy overpriced things for their brands, and I got sick of "sitting back laughing" alone. I'm sure you're a great person; think before you answer.
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