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Q: This will be horribly, horribly long, because it is one of the biggest things to happen in this town in a while.
I have a 16-year-old friend named Caleb. He's a good kid, he doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs, or anything like that. He does hang out with a bad crowd sometime (everyone here does). Well, Saturday, the high school kids (sophomores and up) had a campout in Scotland (a town next to us). Well, they were pretty much all drinking and stuff like that. Caleb got called Brittney, a freshman to come pick her up and take her there. He went to get her, and three eighth grade girls(Haley, Elizabeth, and Chani for reference) were there too, and he had to take them too, since they had nowhere to go. David, who just happened to be close by, hopped in the back of his truck while he was stopped. He was drunk and had some wine. Caleb didn't notice and didn't even find out until they were halfway there. He shared the wine with the girls, and were drunk by the time they got there. Caleb still didn't drink. While they were there, the girls got totally wasted. Haley had like 15 beers, and Elizabeth was throwing up all over herself when she got home. That's how McGregor (her dad) found out. He told the football coaches, who basically interviewed everybody involved. Cruz, Tony, Josh, Chase, Brett, Blake, Charlie, and a few other starters for the football team got suspended for a week. Basically, everyone is blaming all of this on Caleb. He's my friend, and I know he didn't mean to cause any of this, but I also know he screwed up. I just want to know who's fault you think it is.
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The thing that really strikes me about this entire situation is the lack of personal responsibility on the part of everyone involved, including the parents.
You tell me that Caleb hangs out with a bad crowd. Who is responsible for that? Caleb. While he may think he's doing these guys a favor by providing them a good example (which I really hope is his motivation for hanging out with these folks), that is a favor he do adequately from a distance. If, on the other hand, the motivation is popularity, then he would do well to decide why he wants approval from this bunch. Caleb needs to avoid these people, they will not help him.
The other kids involved should have used much better judgment in their behavior as well. Getting drunk is, quite frankly, a stupid and meaningless activity. That adults do it too only tells you about the adults, not about getting drunk. Mind you, I am not a teetotaler, I've had a drink or two in my life, but there is a great deal of difference between a pleasant flavor followed by a mild buzz and a beer binge followed by a massive vomit. The girls need to take a hard look at their activities as well, before a night of binge drinking turns into the kind of hangover that lasts nine months and eighteen years.
Now to the real sticking point though:
Where were Caleb's parents? Did they have any idea he was acting as shuttle service for the high school beer brigade? Where were all those girls' parents? Punishing the kids for something they did is appropriate, but the parents themselves really should be paying closer attention, as had they been more aware of their kids' activities they might never have gone so far.
Finally, blame is rather a waste of time. Saying that it is any one person's fault is rather missing the point, as every person in this situation (again including the parents) should have been more attentive to their own responsibilities in the matter. Yes, your friend is at fault, but so are all the rest of the people involved - they are at fault for their own actions or inactions.
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I agree with pretty much everything you said. Anyone involved with this is at fault. The problem with him not hanging out with this bad crowd is that there is about 120 people in our high school, this is basically the only crowd to hang out with. Also, the parents know about it. Half of them don't even care about it, the other half has given up on trying to stop them.
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bio
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First, I am a rationalist.
If you ask me a question, prepare to have it examined under the cold and sometimes harsh light of reason. I'll do my best to provide the best and most rational answer.
Beyond that, I'm a musician, an armchair philospher, sometimes computer programmer, student of many subjects, and all around swell guy.
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Info
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Website: Gender: Male Location: Nashville, TN Age: 34 Member Since: September 2, 2005 Answers: 14 Last Update: September 29, 2005 Visitors: 1908
Favorite Columnists
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