Hey y'all. I started this whole advice thing cuz i absolutely luv people and giving advice. I'll try to help the best I can with whatever problem you have. I've been through a little of everything so ask away and don't be shy!
E-mail: e.sherhart@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: TEXAS!!!
Occupation: Violinist
Age: 16
AIM: rikatree2375
Member Since: July 29, 2005
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My mom and I have always been close but I'm fourteen now and we're still close but we get into fights a lot and it really bothers me. She's a preschool teacher so she gets summers off with me so we have a lot of time together. It's just, I hate fighting with her because, in her eyes, I'm always wrong. I mean, she starts to assume things and then when I tell her that that isn't true she get's even madder and saying "Well you said it once" or "Just drop it". It really really makes me mad. To everyone around me, my life is perfect. I get told I'm pretty and have the perfect body all the time, my family is "perfect", I'm not too popular, I have great friends...but no one sees behind the scenes. In reality, I'm really self-conscience and sad. When I'm around people, I'm the happy girl everyone thinks I am, but in my mind I'm sad. The fights take a toll on me. The way my friends treat me take a toll on me. I just don't know what to do. I really am happy on most aspects of my life, but I don't see why my mom has to fight with me. I don't think I deserve it. She doesn't know how it affects me and I'm not going to tell her 'cause then she'll get mad and say I'm selfish and think I'm always right, which I know I'm not. She's really cool a lot of the time but now we fight more and more and it's really starting to bother me. What can I do to help myself be happy and not let the fights get to me so much? What can I do when we fight? I want to be happy but these fights hurt.
Please help. Usually I give good advice to other people, but I don't know what to do.
-K- (link)
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First of all, sounds like your mom is going through something personal. If she's starting to fight more and more with you when she never really did that, then i doubt it's YOU that she's mad at. Try thinking that she's just having a hard time with life and stuff and that it's not you who she's fighting. If you seriously feel like you can't tell her and fights keep coming up, try just hinting about how much you know it's hurting HER and you. Say you really dont want to make her upset and that you luv her. And about your friends. Do you have like ONE really good friend you can just tell like anything??!!?! If so, go to her/him and just tell them everything. They could probably help you more than i can. If you dont, try opening up a little more to your general friends so they stop assuming and expecting so much of you. If you dont open up to people, how are they suppose to know that you're really not as happy as you look?!?! Maybe think about that. But for now, let your mom cool off and do whatever you can to prevent her blowouts. I'm sure over time she'll see that fighting is just stupid and useless. Take things slow and good luck!!! Hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple (plz rate and leave comments!!!)
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Rating: 5
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Thanks a ton. You're advice was really really good. I'm 14/female by the way, I forgot to mention that. I know there are some things that are bugging her right now but I don't understand why she had to take them out on me? I'm scared to make my friends think my mom is a bad person when she really isn't. I want to tell her, but I'm scared she'll just get mad at me.
You give really good advice! :)
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