|
|
|
|
|
Q: Ok, I apoligize in advance if this is really long.
But, i have this friend. We've been really close since elementary school. I really enjoy spending time with her. But when the topic about money comes up, it just makes me ache inside. I don't show it. Okay, so my family doesn't have the kind of money like her family does. Most of the time she just shoves it in my face, i don't really know if she does it on purpose or it just comes naturally.. but it's really starting to make me extremley upset. For example, we're supposed to hang out, and then shes going shopping. I sort of had the option to go with her, but i don't have any money to buy anything. And truth be told, i don't want to watch her shop, that makes it worse. I just want her to realize that theres more things to do than shop & spend money. She has everything i've always wanted. I don't know how to explain this to her, nor i don't even know what to say to her. Any advice on what i should say? Or what i should do?
Thanks Much.
Sincerley, Unhappy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's very difficult, sometimes, to live with someone who comes from another world. I have a friend whose family is very rich. I have another friend whose family is extremely poor. The lucky thing is, we all go to college together and we're all in the same boat (for the most part).
The key to getting along with someone whose financial means are very different from yours, is to meet on neutral ground. It's the only fair thing to do. She may be flaunting her wealth on purpose, either to feel powerful over you (which is very nasty of her) or she may have been taught to act that way by a parent. In any case, it's very gauche of her to show off and make you feel inadequate. If she was a very good friend and cared about how you feel, she would be generous and sensitive to your feelings.
If you really feel she's a friend worth keeping, try, as I said, meeting her on neutral ground. Invite her to an event of your choice, either something free (like a picnic in a park, or swimming or watching old movies at your house) or something you know you can afford (like a movie, maybe, or going to the arcade?). You may have to take the upper hand. If she's too thickheaded to realize that she's putting you in an impossible spot by throwing her money around, you might just have to tell her straight up: "It's not possible for me to spend money like you do, and it's no fun to watch you do it. I'm going somewhere else. Call me when we can do something TOGETHER."
If she doesn't get the hint, I'd suggest you start hanging out with people whose lives don't revolve around cash. There are tons of people who'd like to just have a good time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
bio
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
People have been coming to me for advice so long, I might as well do this all in one spot. I watch a lot of unfathomable Japanese TV and drink a lot of coffee. I'm a freshly-hatched Illustration major, formerly trapped & dying in the American South, now busily teaching phrases to all of Nagoya Japan. I'm always on the lookout for more video games and sushi.
I have lots of interesting pets. Wanna see my beetle?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Info
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Website: Gender: Female Location: America, now Nagoya Occupation: Eigo sensei/Illustrator Age: 22 AIM: Yahoo: Member Since: December 5, 2003 Answers: 255 Last Update: October 11, 2008 Visitors: 23037
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|