Hey everyone, my name is Jordan. Im going to be a sophomore at Oklahoma State University this year, currently studying Hotel and Restaurant Management. I graduated with a 3.42 GPA from Cinco Ranch High School in Katy, Texas, my home of ten years. I am a singer, a cook, a brother, a son, a friend, an employee, and a student. I have alot of background with problems with friends, parents, siblings, teachers (long stories), employers, and of course, with myself. But ask anything you want, if I can help just one person, than I've made a difference, and I'll be happy! Please rate me based on the advice I give. I want to know if I need to change anything! Thanks to everyone who has rated me so far! I'm sorry about my period of inactivity on this site, school, my girlfriend, and other aspects of my personal life have kept me away for longer than I wanted, but I'm back and ready to answer your questions!
E-mail: jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
Gender: Male
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Occupation: College student at Oklahoma State
Age: 19
AIM: IronChefRogue1
Member Since: April 5, 2005
Answers: 32
Last Update: July 5, 2007
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FrEe2bMe
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Ok well the guy I kinda like I just found out has a girlfriend aww i know im sad... I cant get him out of mind, i have a myspace and hes one of my friends on it cause we go to school together and stuff i mean i didnt just meat him or anything and I use to like always look at his sight and leave him friendly comments and stuff but now the picture thats his main is of him and his girfriend kissing... I respect him and respect the fact that he has a girlfriend and all that cause were good friends and Im happy for him i just want to try to think of him as a really good friend and not get sad when i see thier picture... any advide please help...
signed I respect the man (link)
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Hey. First off, I want to tell you I am sorry to hear about your situation. Millions of people, male and female, begin to like their best friends every day, I know, I've been there. To know that they are happily in a relationship is the sadest news anyone can get, short of the death or terminal illness of a loved one. It never gets easier to receive that sort of news, and it gets harder to consider them as only a friend once you like them. Crossing the friend/crush border is a VERY perilous step, one that has ruined friendships and crushed dreams. Is it possible that your friend knew you had a crush on him, and that the picture could be a subtle warning sign, warning you to not like him? I know that sounds stupid, but consider the following. You two are really good friends, so one would infer that you can maybe read each other's emotions. Perhaps he read into the fact that you like him, and thus tried to give you a small indicator that he has feelings for someone else. Or, on the other tangent, maybe he is a typical guy (and guys, lets fess up) and is blind to the fact that you like him. Perhaps he put the picture up to highlight the addition to his life, without realizing your feelings for him.
My best advice is this. The pain can be a subliminal thing, something that is in your subconcious, therefore something you won't be able to quiet easily. So, instead of trying to block the pain and the sadness, acknowledge the fact that they are just boyfriend and girlfriend. They are not engaged, and their is a high likelyhood (based on age, seriousness of the relationship, etc.) that they will not be permenant fixtures in each other's lives. Realize that just because that just because you are out of THIS round does not mean that you have lost the fight. You may have your chance with him yet, but the only way to get there is patience. Dont do something extreme, like tell him how you feel. That can only complicate the situation to a degree that is only imaginable.
Let's go the other way, a.k.a. you don't want to have feelings for him anymore. This is a much more difficult road, in many respects. Once you have feelings for a friend, it is difficult to see them without those feelings bubbling to the top. With our friends, our mind automatically is at ease, thus we are more prone to trust our friends with our life, both physically and emotionally. Our friends are often closely tied to how we feel, thus we tie ourselves to people who make us feel good inside. With male and female friends, it is easy to fall into the pit of liking each other. My advice would be this: think about WHY you like this friend. Consider what draws you to him, and from this, determine what type of guy he is. Then, instead of trying to focus on him, find other guys like him, similar in personality, and try building relationships there. The only way to beat a crush is to find a better crush, or to let your crush hurt you, something that is NOT advisable. Good luck with your friend, no matter what happens. Don't worry, just because he has a girlfriend now doesn't mean he can't think you the best girl in the world later.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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Rating: 5
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Hey Thanks for taking the time to type that out I apprecited it.
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