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karenR
hailebop
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Just as a warning, this will be long. If you have a problem with that, skip on to the next question.
Okay. So my guy and I have been together about 18 months now, and it's been great up until awhile ago.
Now, my boyfriend and I used to have the exact same ideals about sex - we both thought oral was stupid and disgusting, and neither of us was really into the whole manual thing.
All of a sudden, he's asking me for oral all the time - I did that once and I told him I wasn't comfortable with it. He's even asking for "road head" which I always thought only assholes asked for and only sluts gave.
Does he think I'm a slut just because I've had sex?
I feel like he's been taking advantage of me lately and making me feel like a bad girlfriend. I know I'm not, though he makes me feel like it's my fault when we fight, and makes me feel like I'm the one that needs to change, when I believe now that it's him that needs to change.
I really do hope this is just a bump in the relationship - don't most people hit bumps when they've been together awhile?
We were such a great couple for so long, and then all of a sudden, he decided he wanted more sexual stuff than I'm willing and comfortable with giving him. Now, I can understand he may be a little sexually frustrated, as we haven't had sex in like a month, but I told him we'd have to wait a month (due to a medication I ended up on that conflicted with my birth control pill), and he was okay with it. Now he's suddenly not. I'm confused.
He used to be utterly romantic and sweet. Now he's turning into a complete ass.
I really want to ask him right now if he really loves me or he just enjoys fucking me. Recently, it seems like the latter.
We always said that sex was like the icing to a cake in this relationship. He claims this relationship is based on love, not lust, but I'm not so sure about that anymore.
I don't want to break up with him. I want him to realize what he's doing, and I want to fix this between us, hopefully before saturday. Saturday's his birthday, and I went to a lot of trouble to find him a present he wants this year. I'd rather not return it.
But mostly, I just want this to go back to normal. I was so happy with him before...
Help me out?
~Cali~ (link)
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Hi Cali,
It sounds like your boyfriend is more confused than anything. He just presumes that every girl gives head and every girl enjoys it. Well they don't. He is thinking that there is something wrong with him and is probably too shy to admit it. You have to let him know that you love him and that oral sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship. Every couple goes through stages like this in a relationship but it's up to you to help make it work out if you want it to. If it helps, ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have only done that once. What men don't realise as well is that girls quite often find giving head a more intimate thing to do which often comes the stage after having sex. He has to realise that just because you don't want to doesn't mean that you don't love him or think any less of him. He is probably got quite low self esteem at the moment because he just presumes that if he asks he gets. You could do something to surprise him. You could organise a candlelit meal in your room for him and get some massage oil. Gets some tips from magazines about techniques for massage, kissing and positions that you haven't done before and try them out. Not only will this make him feel special, he will understand that there's more to life than giving head and many more ways to have fun~!! good luck and i hope i have helped a little
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Rating: 5
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Thanks, you did help. I'll point this stuff out to him. =)
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