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**** I've been gone quite a long time. However I'm still breathing though it's touch and go. Don't expect me to answer or check in much. ****Welcome to the junkdrawer that is my brain! I know something about many things, and I if I don't know it, I admit that I don't know. That I am constantly finding things I know nothing about and correcting that ignorance keeps me busy and happy. More junk for the drawer.
I love and have experience with many types of animals, including the human. I don't offend easy and I am generally cynical and a smart-butt. I love to drive, read, work on the computer and I spend WAY too much time watching Anime and bidding on ebay.
advice
i guess i would consider myself a minority, i'm half chinese half white (swedish/german) and i guess im sort of having an identity crisis. i am a senior in high school and i have a group of really close friends that are all white. my group of friends in high school that are my age are all asian. its been really wierd for me but for the first time ive had to deal with people being racist against me for hanging out with asians, associating with asians, and just plain being asian. i can't help feeling ashamed about it and at the same time mad that i do feel ashamed because its part of who i am, and no one should be ashamed about it. i keep getting advice from my mom and from my best friend to not care what other people think but its really hard because "other people's thoughts of you" is so much about what high school is. i guess thats why im looking forward to college because its more a time for yourself. anyways i can't help feeling embarassed and im ashamed of myself for thinking like this. i don't understand why i feel the way i do but does anyone have some good insight or information-im having a real identity crisis.
The desire to fit in is a natural one. Being different is difficult, but this is crap you already know. I met a young woman while I was in college whose mother was Chinese and her father was black. Her father left them when she was young, so her mother raised her alone. The thing is my friend looks black except for her folded eyes and certain other facial features. She had the same problem as you, her black friends claimed she was disrespecting her African heritage by embracing her Chinese background. Her comment was "How can I face this tiny Asian woman who gave me life when I go home and say I am embarrassed by her?" She said lots of other things too, but that comment has stayed with me for 11 years. I understood her to mean that to feel bad about being Asian was to disrespect her mother and the sacrifices she'd made for her through the years. That is the truth of heritage. Love and respect for those that have gone before you. Embracing the lessons given to you by the people who love and support you through life. You have the wonderful though difficult honor of being from two worlds. One is no less important than the other. It is up to you to choose how to exist between these worlds, with pride and love for those who gave you life, or with shame that you are not one or the other. May you find your way and live in joy!
(Rating: 5) that is the most sound advice i have gotten thus far. thanks for your insight, i appreciate it