xo.Name.ox Kirby
I answer ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. I don't care what it's about, I will try to help. I've got a lot of good advice up my sleeve and I LOVE to help. :)
I really try not to be mean, but just to give some people a wake-up call. Sometimes people need it. Sometimes I need it. lol. Well, ask questions and you'll get answers.
~K~
Gender: Female
Occupation: student
Member Since: January 16, 2005
Answers: 114
Last Update: February 14, 2006
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Hi. I'm a fellow Advicenator. I have my own column, if you ask, I could leave you feedback with my username. Although I've always been good at advice...I feel lost right now. Maybe I do know the answer, but I just need to hear it from someone else.
For the past few years...Something hasn't been right with me. I'm tired of not fitting in, I'm tired of always needing to get good grades, I'm tired of people not telling me anything, tired of being ignored, hurt... I'm one of those 4.0+ GPA students. Friends would describe me as hyper. Heck, that's even part of my username. But all this time it's been a cover up of how I really feel. Crying by myself sometimes make me feel better, but time doesn't heal, like they say. Things get worse for me.
This year seemed to work out so well. Until last Friday I realized that this year has all been a lie. A friend told me about something my other friends have been hiding from me. I found out that the people I LOVED, my FRIENDS, were talking trash about my boyfriend and me.
They don't realize that WE HAVE ALL CHANGED. I know I have changed, and I accept that. I accept that they have changed as well. We all want our "old" friends back, but what can we do? I miss them, but I cannot change what has happened between us. My boyfriend has brightened up my life. I thought they would be happy for me. What's funny is THEY were the people that pressured me into saying YES to my boyfriend sooner than I expected. (I don't regret it at all.) I could have gone for months, not giving him an answer. "OMG, say yes already" "Oh, he's a nice guy" I remember lots of quotes, CLEARLY. And now, here they are, talking trash?
My REAL friends are supposed to be there for me. They're supposed to talk to me, even if it's something I don't want to hear. They need to at least try to see things my point of view, and NOT talk trash behind my back. They need to either talk to me about it or keep it to themselves and NOT spread around how I'm such a changed and horrible person.
The only person that is giving me the will to live is my boyfriend. I feel bad he has to see me like this. He tells me he knows how I feel, but he doesn't care because he has me. I'd like to say the same, but honestly, it hurts too much. I love him, but the pain won't go away.
I don't know what to do.
At first I wanted to like yell at my "friends" and go rawr! But then as these few days passed I just wanted to forget. But then I can't forget the pain... I see them every day. I think to myself, maybe if I forget, we can all pretend it never happened because I don't want to ruin things even more. But then I tell myself how could I pretend when something like this has happened? My brain goes back and forth...all the time.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize for the length...I really needed to get that out... Please...I need some wise words. (link)
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I've been in a very similar situation where my friends who I had loved and cared for so much wrote me this stupid note (ho cowardly is it to write a note?) telling me EVERYTHING that was wrong with me. They've done that twice and you know what, I went back to them even after that. That was a mistake and a good thing. You can go back to them, but then again, would you WANT to?
You can't avoid them forever, I tried. I've had the same feelings as you. In my situation, I was too vain but all last year they kept telling me to have confidence and be confident. When I finally do have confidence, they crush it. They more than crushed it, they made it dissappear. It's like your boyfriend, they pressured you to say yes, you did, and then they talk about both of you.
You need to talk to your 'friends' about this. Tell them that they've hurt you and that instead of being back stabbers, they could've told you to your face and then you guys could've actually talked about it or something. Or you could just tell them that they are bitches and they deserve each other, but I wouldn't. lol.
What you need to do is breathe and talk about it with someone. That's what I had to do. I had to talk about it with someone 'cause I was getting to the point where I wasn't me anymore. You can't let that happen. You need to talk about it and then decide to talk to your friends or not. I don't have a lot of time, but you can leave me a message in my inbox or IM me or e-mail because I'd love to you help you out more because I've been in a situation like yours. Feel free.
~Hope that helps~
~K~
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Rating: 5
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Hello...you gave my advice quite a while ago, and I'm finally here to give feedback. lol. The advice every one gave me made me feel a better, and I know I wasn't the only one that went through that situation. Thanks for taking the time to help out a fellow advicenator. I finally had a long talk with my friends last weekend, and all is well. If you'd like more information about it, you could check out my online diary (http://kimmie4ever.diaryland.com/050522_23.html user: guest pass: cheesie) if you like. Thanks again, and I really appreciated your advice.
PS, In case you were wondering, my username here is HyperactiveMiss. In case you weren't...well...nevermind then. heh.
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