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karenR
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Hi. I'm a fellow Advicenator. I have my own column, if you ask, I could leave you feedback with my username. Although I've always been good at advice...I feel lost right now. Maybe I do know the answer, but I just need to hear it from someone else.
For the past few years...Something hasn't been right with me. I'm tired of not fitting in, I'm tired of always needing to get good grades, I'm tired of people not telling me anything, tired of being ignored, hurt... I'm one of those 4.0+ GPA students. Friends would describe me as hyper. Heck, that's even part of my username. But all this time it's been a cover up of how I really feel. Crying by myself sometimes make me feel better, but time doesn't heal, like they say. Things get worse for me.
This year seemed to work out so well. Until last Friday I realized that this year has all been a lie. A friend told me about something my other friends have been hiding from me. I found out that the people I LOVED, my FRIENDS, were talking trash about my boyfriend and me.
They don't realize that WE HAVE ALL CHANGED. I know I have changed, and I accept that. I accept that they have changed as well. We all want our "old" friends back, but what can we do? I miss them, but I cannot change what has happened between us. My boyfriend has brightened up my life. I thought they would be happy for me. What's funny is THEY were the people that pressured me into saying YES to my boyfriend sooner than I expected. (I don't regret it at all.) I could have gone for months, not giving him an answer. "OMG, say yes already" "Oh, he's a nice guy" I remember lots of quotes, CLEARLY. And now, here they are, talking trash?
My REAL friends are supposed to be there for me. They're supposed to talk to me, even if it's something I don't want to hear. They need to at least try to see things my point of view, and NOT talk trash behind my back. They need to either talk to me about it or keep it to themselves and NOT spread around how I'm such a changed and horrible person.
The only person that is giving me the will to live is my boyfriend. I feel bad he has to see me like this. He tells me he knows how I feel, but he doesn't care because he has me. I'd like to say the same, but honestly, it hurts too much. I love him, but the pain won't go away.
I don't know what to do.
At first I wanted to like yell at my "friends" and go rawr! But then as these few days passed I just wanted to forget. But then I can't forget the pain... I see them every day. I think to myself, maybe if I forget, we can all pretend it never happened because I don't want to ruin things even more. But then I tell myself how could I pretend when something like this has happened? My brain goes back and forth...all the time.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize for the length...I really needed to get that out... Please...I need some wise words. (link)
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Everyone at some point in their life goes through the phase where the friends they thought were their friends aren't. What you have to do is stick with the friends you know you can trust even if that's only one or two. You will be so much happier this way. You should never to what your friends tell you to do - instead, do what you want to do yourself. When I was living with some friends last year there was a girl who I thought was one of my best friends. What I realised throughout the year was that she was actually bad-mouthing me to all my other friends and telling me to do things just so she could spread gossip. These are the kind of people who are the most messed up. The people who you thought were your friends are having jealousy issues with you and they say things to hurt you to make themselves feel better.
You have to realise that you are far better than those people. I stopped hanging around with this girl and, instead concentrated on the one friend I could trust, and my boyfriend. Now, a few months later, the others have been calling me and say they want to hang with me because this girl is being horrible to them now and they realise how upsetting it is. She now has no friends and lives on her own.
What you have to do is stay away from the people who are being horrible to you and soon they will get bored when they realise they are not affecting you any more. they will go and find someone else to pick on.
By doing this and sticking with the people who make you happy, you will become happier and people will see you for who you are - a happy, honest person- the type of person they want to be friends with too. I hope this helps a little - let me know if there's anything else I can help u with - I have an advice column.
Daisy x x
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Rating: 5
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Hello...you gave my advice quite a while ago, and I'm finally here to give feedback. lol. The advice every one gave me made me feel a better, and I know I wasn't the only one that went through that situation. Thanks for taking the time to help out a fellow advicenator. I finally had a long talk with my friends last weekend, and all is well. If you'd like more information about it, you could check out my online diary (http://kimmie4ever.diaryland.com/050522_23.html user: guest pass: cheesie) if you like. Thanks again, and I really appreciated your advice.
PS, In case you were wondering, my username here is HyperactiveMiss. In case you weren't...well...nevermind then. heh.
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