I am an African-American mother of three, 28, with a Bachelors in Sociology. I am beginning a Masters of Counseling Psychology program in order to become a Licensed Professional Counselor. I have been issuing advice to all kinds of people on a wide array of issues for over 10 years. Let me offer new insight into your problems or concerns big or small.
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Age: 28
Member Since: March 15, 2005
Answers: 13
Last Update: March 25, 2005
Visitors: 2212
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okay this is semi long so i am sorry but i really want advice: my mom died when i was 3 and i went to SO MUCH counseling. family,alone you name it. i stopped around the end of 3rd grade. but now that i am a teenager i realize how much i want/need a mother figure. i have my grandmother and i love her dearly but its not the same. i try to talk to my friends but they cant really relate and i feel bad making my problems their problems. i sort of want to go back to counseling but it costs SO MUCH and i am not sure i need it....
help me please? (link)
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I lost my mom to cancer when I was 10, and I remember feeling what you're feeling as a teenager with no mom. I understand what the other columnists are saying about building a relationship with your friends' moms, but the danger there is attaching yourself to someone who's only in your life for as long as you remain friends with their child. Then some people are saying just go see the school counselor, which is actually a good (FREE) option, if that's really what you feel you need. What are you trying to accomplish in counseling over this matter? I can tell you from experience that no amount of counseling will ever make that void you feel go away. I'm 28 years old and still wish I had my mom to go to for things that come up in my life. However, I do have an aunt. She's always been there for me, and she has become that surrogate mother for me. She's not tied to some friendship; so I can get mad at her kids, and she's still my aunt and loves me. I think you should lean on your grandmother for that motherly love and support (or reach out to an aunt if you have one). Any type of advice that you may need that she cannot relate to, can come from other women in your life; the kind of relationship it seems you're searching for isn't one you should gamble on with a stranger or someone who could come and go as easily as a friend. See what your school counselor says about the issue. Also, visit my column anytime to talk to someone who can relate!
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Rating: 5
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thank you...its good to get advice from someone who knows a little more about the situation
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