I have a degree in Biomedical Engineering and Psychology from Northwestern University. I finished medical school and completed my M.D. at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine. I am currently in my residency for surgery- hopefully to be specializing in neurosurgery.
I want to answer questions on medical type questions. I'm a big fan of Dr. Drew Pinsky on Love Line and would like to help younger people from the mistakes I see a lot of young people do when they come into my ER.
Gender: Male
Location: I'm from all over.
Occupation: Physician- Surgeon
Age: 29
AIM: ArunKSherma
Member Since: January 23, 2005
Answers: 188
Last Update: January 2, 2009
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Melanie4981
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Almost exactly a year ago i made a BIG mistake. I was going through a depression and I felt horrible about myself, and my best friend's boyfriend was also one of my best friends. We talked all the time but before he started dating my best friend he liked me but I just didn't see him that way. Well while i was goign through my depression he was really there for me and he made me feel really good about myself. And somehow he managed to talk my way into having sex with him... while he was still with my best friend. Now i know that it sounds horrible but honestly i am NOT that type of girl i am like an awesome friend and i'd do anything for anyone because i'm just like that. After i did it i cried for like weeks. It took about 3 months until my best friend found out and she was crushed. This just through me into a deeper depression. But eventually she forgave me and now we will still talk and such but we are nothing like we use to be, and nor do i expect us to be. But the thing is is i still can't get over it, even though she forgave me its like i can't forgive myself. I drive myself crazy thinking about what a horrible thing i did and how horrible of a person i am. I honestly feel like shit everyday because it doesn't get out of my head, everytime i see her i think to myself how couldi have done that to her i am jsut a bitch. And like i just put myself down so much. I've only had sex with 2 guys in my whole life but i feel like a total slut. And i should i think. I'm starting to fall back into my depression and it is driving me crazy. I got over it for a few months but now its just all starting to bother me again. I don't know how to deal with it. Does anyone have any ideas on how i can rid myself of this uncontrollable guilt? i mean i know i should feel guilty but i honestly feel likei am driving myself crazy. Thanks so much (link)
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It isn't your fault. You said it yourself that you were going through an episode of major depression. During that time, you are in a vulnerable state and it has been shown physiologically that judgements and advanced thoughts are affected toward the negative ( same mechanism why people in depression drink heavily, eat tons of food etc.). It isn't your fault because you weren't able to see through it, and I actually blame the guy b/c he took advantage of you in a depressive state (side note: a friend of mine hit on one of my female friends after her brother died- and now they're married- needless to say I'm not friends with them anymore).
You're not a slut by any stretch of the imagination. The best thing to do is to find someone to talk about your guilt, whether it be a counselor or your best friend about what had happened. You may be suffering from major depression too Criteria for depression that psychiatrists use (http://www.psychologynet.org/major.html). You need to talk to your doc and maybe he can get you started on an anti-depressant. (I know that sounds bad but all types of people are on them).
If you don't want to do this there is one thing that you can do by yourself that may help you- we tell a lot of people to do this in therapy.
Keep a thought diary. On the page make two columns. One column you write down the negative thoughts that you have. Afterwards in the other column, you write down why that thinking is not right. This way you'll be able to put your emotion into concrete terms and then be able to realize that you're not whatever that bad thought it was (It involves Beck's Theory on Depression- which you'll learn in college if you take psychology). Before you know it, you may think of a bad thought (guilt etc.) but instantly be able to think that is not the right way to think.
Hope that things go better. If you need anything, drop a line.
Yours,
Arun
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Rating: 5
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Thanks a lot, I actually am seeking counseling and I'm starting tomorrow!
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