sita's advice column

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Q: ok i have a big problem. ok heres the scoop: i just moved to kentucky from chicago. its been real tough. i met my best friend and now we are always together, we are inseperable. but in the beginning of october her brother asked me out. he said that he really liked me and he told every1 i was the one for him and that we were going to run off and get married so now i am like in luv with this guy. he has the religion though of a penticostal and one of their beleifs is abstinence. and well i was raped when i was younger so technically i am not a virgin. his cousin has a really big crush on me though and when he found out that i was with his cousin he decided he was gonna make up a whole bunch of crap about me. so he told him that i screwed 20 guys and he broke up with me not even hearing what i had to say. now he wants nothing to do with me and i told his sister the reason i was not a virgin and now hes still like he cares but its not the same. he still wont even look at me. i dunno what i did wrong we were so happy. Ive been crying over him for about a month now and 3 days ago i started going out with this guy that is my other best friends boyfriends cousin. ( if that makes sense). and today he told me that he likes me a lot and that he loves me. he dosent understand how much weight that puts on my shoulder. i like him but i dont now if im using him to get my ex off of my mind. i want the relationship im in to last because i dont wanna fall apart again and have a breakdown but i really dont know what i should do. and i dont want to break his heart b/c i know hes 4 real. but how do i express what im fellin? please just tell me what you think i should do i need an opinion from someone who knows the basics. thankyou for reading please help me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
confused/tjlover

wow sweety...sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders. You know your with this guy but it seems to me that your just with this guy cause you want someone to be with you....WHICH ISNT BAD dont get me wrong. But they way you talk about your ex its as if you really care bout this guy. If you really like someone and you can see a future with him fight for it. now dont go beggin or thing like just try to be friends with him again. Now if he totaly blows you off ...sweety let it go... cause what happened to you isnt your fault and its totaly wrong of what his cousin said about you. If your ex broke up with you and found out what had happened to you and still doesnt give you a second chance he isnt worth your time. Now with ur new guy.... hes told you he loves you ... but if you dont feel that way DONT SAY IT BACK....even if it hurts his feelings dont say it back trust me from personal experiance it hurts more to say it then it not work out and the person find out you never really meant it. If you have ne doub that you might be using this guy to get over you ex tell him that you like him but that you wanna get your thoughts in order first and that once you relieze what you want that hopefully he will still be there. and trust me if he cares enough about you to say that he loves you he should be there. Its better to get things straight now that its still fresh than when you've been with the guy for a while... trust me a big nasty tangle will develope if you do that and it will hurt both of yall!
I hope everything works out for you...and i hope i was some what of a help....
With care,
Sita

Rating: 5

Thankyou so much i wanna say you were ther most of help.

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Hay... i might be a stranger to you but im not a stranger to giving out advice. A couple of my friends actually call me Dr. Phil. I try my best to help in any problem that you might have so just email me and I'll be more than happy to help!!!
Teresita aka Sita