About sparklythingy
Who is sparklythingy? You may know her from various message boards or LiveJournal - her most common aliases are Kaora, Meitian and Ling. Her hobbies include basketball, cross-country running, reading, drawing and HTML.
Questions that she'd love to answer include ones about reading recommendations, friendships, computer problems and fashion. She will not answer questions regarding sex, but will gladly tell you that you really don't need a boyfriend, and how to deal with love, life, and other unexpected issues.
Before you ask, she is: Christian, Centrist, Feminist, athletic, web desginer, teenage, and a general happy person who would love to help you.
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Gender: Female
Location: United States
Occupation: Future ruler of the world
Member Since: August 28, 2004
Answers: 39
Last Update: January 25, 2006
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Q: (Sorry, I wasnt sure what category to put it under) Ok, ever since 5th grade I really started to hate my life. I mean, this large group of girls were doing petty things and were lying to the principal. Alot of people hate me. I lost 25 maybe more, friends. I cant take it anymore. My friends are starting to ignore me and "snub" me! Im starting to feel very depressed and lonely. My self-esteem is 2. Not alot. I cry myself to sleep. My family life isnt any better. My mom is SUPER paranoid, so I cant tell her anything. My dad wont understand. My mom wont let me go over to my friends house and such! Please help!
12/f
A: Ah, junior high.
Well, if you don't have any friends at school, make some elsewhere that you can talk to! Church groups, Girl Scouts, rec center sports teams...
Unfortunately, a lot of girls go through an "evil phase" around middle school that may last through high school or even longer - you know, they talk behind each others' backs, and they're sooooo concerned with getting boys? If you're not into the same things they are, they may think you're not trendy or "in" - but trust me, it's so much more fun to be yourself.
Not having parents that you feel comfortable talking to stinks. You could always try and catch a favorite teacher after school and see if they can help you, or something like that.
As for your mom not wanting you to go over to your friends' houses, try asking her why she doesn't want you to. In giving a response to her, try and be as mature and reasonable as possible - if she sees you as being mature, then she'll probably let you have more freedom :) It's very important to be able to hang out with your friends, after all.
As for crying yourself to sleep... I know how that is, I've been there, and the key is to find something to be excited about. Find a hobby, like, say, writing, web design, reading, making up stories in your head, whatever, and try and think about it until your brain goes numb. Find your happy place. Having nice, calm music helps, too.
If you're beginning to feel depressed/suicidal or you start to inflict physical pain on yourself, it's possible you're clinically depressed, and you ought to talk to your physician or a guidance counselor.
Some recommended reading/etc:
-Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman
-Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons
-Odd Girl Speaks Out by Rachel Simmons
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Thanks soooo very much!
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