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A little less then two months ago I found out my cousin was raped and i've been having some trouble dealing with it.I'm really close to this cousin , she's liek my best friend.when i first found out i just started crying , i couldnt even look at anyone for a copuple days.That i had to cry myself to sleep.i used to live in a house with her in when i was younger,i lived on the bottom and she lived on the top.Whenever i think about her and her baby i cant help but cry and its so hard for me to look at her without crying.I cant help but think maybe if i hadnt moved away i would have been with her and i could have stopped the jerk who did this to her.I seem to be the only person in my family who thinks she can finish high school and still take care of her baby.i mean its her family thier supose to be supportive of her.She was raped when she was 14 and had her baby when she was 15.She was born about 3weeks ago.I still cant help but worry about her and feel like i could have done something and i should tell my parents to be more supportive of her and stop thinking so negative.I couldnt even talk to my best friend about this w/o feeling stupid so if anyone has any advice for me, please send it.
When someone you love is sexually abused, you become a victim of the abuse as well. You feel totally helpless and don't know what to do. Talk to a psychologist, school counselor, etc. S/he should be able to give you information on how to cope and how to help your cousin cope. Educate yourself on sexual abuse and the healing process, so you can understand what she is going through. Be someone with whom she can share her feelings, and be supportive (if she's feeling angry, let her feel angry, etc). Express your own feelings of compassion - there is probably nothing more comforting than a genuine human response. Believe her story, believe the amount of damage it did, and definitely do NOT sympathize with the abuser at all, or make her feel like the rap was her fault in any way. Help in any way you can: encourage her to go to counseling and offer to babysit when she goes, have a good cryfest (both of you), etc. I'm a rape survivor and it really touches me how much you care for your cousin and how much her rape affects you. Best wishes.
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Thanks alot for your advice.What you said was really important to me and has been taking place.But when you said your a rape survivor too, I'm not sure how but it made me feel alot better.Thanks again.
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