hello, my name is selina and i was advised to create my own column due to the fact that i just cant help giving out advice and helping people with any questions that are on their mind. i know what its like to be botherd by something and not no who to ask it is alot easier to log on and ask a stranger who is willing to listen and help because you get no bad comeback,no spreaded goossip, no judgment,ect, so if you have something on your mind that is bothering you ask me and i will do my very best to help you out!!!!
thank you for reading........
E-mail: angelsp84@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: south london
Occupation: nursery nurse
Age: 19
Member Since: March 9, 2004
Answers: 42
Last Update: May 19, 2004
Visitors: 5160
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I've never used an advice forum b4 but i guess i'll give you an over view of my situation first. I've been with my boyfriend for about 18months, he moved in to my house about 4 months ago, which was his suggestion. Everything was pretty good for a month or so but then we started to notice certain bits about each other, which is obviously going to happen. Silly little things like how we cleaned a room or when the washing up was done...silly little things. I, at the time, was going through a bit of a rough patch with my job, quite stressful and wasn't super happy or bubbly. My other half started to moan that I frowned too much or that i left the room in a mess etc but after doing a 12hour day i was tired and wanted to chill out. He works away on weekends so every weekend i did a full clean of the whole house, but this isn't the way he'd likes it doing. he is very particular about the way he likes things to be done and i'm trying to adapt to these ways but i know, he doesn't, that this isnt going to happen overnight.He's never been in a serious relationship b4 and seems to get very impatient when our relationship doesn't seem to be getting anywhere (where he wants it to go i'm not sure as he doesn't agree with marriage or kids and we're already living together) he's very good at pointing out my faults but can't take me pointing out any of his, he says he won't change for anyone and doesn't believe in comprimise. We're getting to the stage where we either do something about the situation we're in or we spilt up. I really don't want this to happen but I'm running out of ideas on what to do. He's got himself in a negative frame of mind and i don't know how to get him out of it. Please help?
Ps. I'm female and 22, hes 26 and obviously a guy! (link)
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hiya, i am in a similar situation as you, i have moved in with my partner (in his house) which was his idea and just like you said it was all fine at first and then we also started to notice small things about each other that were starting to get really frustrating, however i was the one that is like your partner,and after a while we had no choice but to relise that no relationship is perfect and if its only things like these that we are begining to find hard, its not the end of the world or the near end to the relationship, we were able to talk to each other properly and both give our opinion on what was bothering us and to be in a long term relationship both people may have to make small changes to make it work. tell him everything you feel about the situation, and ask him if the relationship is worth it and what he really wants he has got to try and make some changes, and that your relationship isnt all about him, he needs to understand what being in a relationship is all about and stop being so selfish. he should be grateful and understanding that you let him move into your house, if he isnt willing to change for no one who does he think he is making you change so much for him. tell him if he cant try and adjust to your life, you wont stain your guts out to do so to his, and then see what he says. its the year 2004 not 1900 so men need to stop trying to be so overuling,it dont work like that any more. talk about the future and what you both want and are both looking forward to, do what ever makes you happy!!
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Rating: 5
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thanks so much for the advice, it really helps
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