about

My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.

I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.

I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.

Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.

I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college

advice

okay. so i have a bunch of friends..well its more like a clique at my school that im in right? so 3 people in the clique are like reallllllly close to me and the others are my fRIENDS but we're not that close.

Well today i just found out that the clique of friends im in, hung out last friday and are having a MOVIE FRIDAY thing.

When i found out this had happened, i began to ask myself "Do they like me?" "Am i Mean" "What am i doing wrong?"..and this is really driving me crazy bc i feel reallllllly left out. and the times where i try to hang out with the 3 people im close to, they're busy with the rest of the people in the clique.

I cant like move on, bc we've all been friends for so long. you know? & besides the rest of the cliques are filled with wierd nerds hahaha(no offense)

what do i do?
omg please help me

Why don't you just ask if you can tag along? If they really are your friends, they'll let you come no questions asked. Let them know you are rather hurt that they would leave you out of the groups activites. Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding. Give them a chance and tell them how you feel. I'm sure they will include you next time.

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There's a boy that I started going out with last April, and he's the greatest boyfriend I've ever had. We couldn't of been more happy. But, he ended up breaking up with me 4 months later and he did lie sometimes. He's had 2 girlfriends since then and I've kinda been scared to trust him, but he's made a promise to himself, friends, and family for his new years resolution that he will be more responsible with his relationships. We both have started to like eachother again, but I know a lot of my friends will get mad. One side of me doesn't care, and one does. This time I won't make any promises to him or anyone else, and I know how to deal with things now. Should I date him?

Hey, if the guy is trying to change, and you two like each other again, I say it's worth a shot. Just be more careful this time and don't trust him as easily. Tell him flat out that the moment he lies to you, it's over. As for your friends, make sure to tell them that you appreciate their concern, but your love life is your business: not theirs. I hope everything works out!

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21/f. I've been on the contraceptive pill for 3 months or so and I've put on around 7lb. Nothing else has changed in my life - I'm at least as active as I was before and I'm eating the same healthy diet.

I'm really worried that the weight gain won't stop and I'll keep getting fatter. I already feel much heavier but I'm trapped because there is no other appropriate form of contraceptive for me. My boyfriend (who is usually a nice guy) is clearly not happy about the weight gain and makes no effort to reassure me that he doesn't mind and I'm still attractive to him, or whatever. I am not overweight by usual standards (163cm tall, 117lb) but I feel awful and am struggling to lose the weight I've put on so quickly.

My boyfriend said I should go off the pill if it would help me lose weight (great, thanks, I thought, sarcastically) but I know we'll end up having unprotected sex if I go off it as we both hate the feeling of condoms but love having sex.

So questions:
1. Has anyone else had a similar experience with weight gain on the pill and what did they do about it?
2. Why is my boyfriend is so critical of my appearance that he'd rather I risked pregnancy than was a few pounds heavier? Should I be worried about this in terms of our relationship (we've only been together 3 months)?

Sorry this was long, thanks for reading :)

1) I am also on the pill, although I have been for much longer than you, and did actually gain a little weight, but it was nothing drastic. Remember that your body is still getting used to its effects. The pill messes up your hormones and will take time to adjust to the changes. I sure it's nothing to worry about.

2) As for your boyfriend, forgive me for saying this, but he sounds very immature. I think you need to confront him about this. There is a chance that he doesn't mean to be critical, perhaps you are interpreting it the wrong way. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that you think it is stupid that he'd rather risk pregnancy than have you gain a few pounds. I would certainly hope that he loves you for you... not for your body and sex.

In the end, if you continue to gain weight on the pill, talk to your doctor about it. It might just be the brand you are using and you could always switch to something different.

As for your sex life with your boyfriend, you need to make small sacrifices in order to be safe and not get pregnant. That's your responsibility.

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Theres this hot guy, and i want to hook up with himm. I talk to him on facebook, and see him on weekends. What are some things that i can comment his facebook with that will make me sound sexy&that will make him want me?

All guys LOVE confidence in a woman. Leave him a comment that says something flirty like, "You've been a bad boy! Go to my room!" or "I just wanted to say I really like that shirt/jeans you wore the other day... but they would look really good on my floor." And to be safe, you could always throw in an "lol" at the end. Be confident and funny about it. It gets the point across that you're interested in him and the confidence will attract him to you.

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Whenever I have my period, its always really heavy.
So this week I'm going to a dance convention which is like 10 hours away. I'll be there for 4 days
My first question is: how many pads should I pack?
2nd question is: When I'm dancing, I always feel uncomfortable on my period.
3rd question: Since tampons dont work for me yet, what kind of pad should i use?



thank youuu

Bring at least two packages of pads. And I suggest wearing the liarge overnight pads, along with an extra pair of underwear for more protection. Always is a good brand for pads. Good luck at your covention and I hope everything works out well!

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my ex and i stopped talking completely for almost 4 months. and then he would start talking to me again just when i started moving on. and it would totally kill me because i still wanted to be with him. and now he has a new gf. and im in love with this guy but he lives in a different state than me and we are kinda together but not relle and my ex knows that i like love this guyy and yet now he decides he wants to be friends with me again and constantly do stupid little things that he knows makes me mad. its like everytime he thinks hes gonna lose me he wants to be my friend and get close to me again, but nvr be with me in a bf/gf relationship. and its pissing me off. i mean ill always care about him but i just dont know wat to do anymore? hes amazing and so funny and can always make me laugh no matter what. but i seriously dont know wat to do. because all my friends are like STOP! DONT TALK TO HIM! HES BAD NEWS. idk wat to do? help ... :\

Your friends are absolutely right: it's time to move on. You deserve a man that will treat you much better than he does. Sure, you'll always like little things about him such as the way he makes you laugh, but in the end, it does not add up. There's nothing wrong with just being friends, but perhaps you should get away from him and meet new people.

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