There are not too many places that I haven't been and I understand many things and can offer help with most.
Gender: Female
Location: Louisiana
Occupation: Asst. Manager
Age: 32
Member Since: May 4, 2005
Answers: 47
Last Update: June 21, 2005
Visitors: 2576
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ok this is a long one.
i dont know where to start so i might scatter, when i turned 8 my mom moved away from my dad a said we could not see him for awhile (another long story so dont ask why just accept it) my sis and i were crushed my dad was like bill cosby we spent our summers with him he did everything with us theres no telling where we would have been if the events would have been diffrent. so our whole lives we told each other that when we turn 18 we would find him. my dad had remarried and had a wonderful new wife (she was so good i called her mom) and she had a great son. the last summer we spent together was when i was 8 my brother was 3 that summer he choked on some ice, i had just took cpr lessons at camp so i gave him the hymlec and he survied.in 1996 i was 16/17 and my mom said we could talk to my dad so she called my dads family only to hear them say they are so sorry to hear what happened and asked why we werent at the funeral my mom didnt get it. she ask what what happen. so my cousin break the news she say pappa(thats what they called my dad) killed my stepmom and my little brother i was in total shock i could not breath 2months earlier my boyfriend died in front of me.and to get this news it was the worse. he stab my stepmom 66times and broke my brothers head against the kitchen floor. after he did that he cut his throat drank drano cut his wrist and and stabbed his self in the stomach and drug the knife up to his ribs. He claimed he was insane and even the prosicuters thearpise said he was insane. my question is what am i to do? can i forgive or what i love him he is my dad we have the same eyes when i look into the mirror i see him should i no is it possible for me to forgive him? my sis has been in contact with him for awhile and we came down for one of his trials 2day i saw him. i thought that if i looked into his eye then i could see the truth i had was anger inside i wanted to let him have it. but i chickened out should i scream and yell would it help me or what should i do?pls i need help (link)
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Wow, it is clear why your mom removed you from the home and you didn't exactly know why. Kudos to her for protecting her children. Sometimes there are things that go on that parents do not need to let their children know.
It is very much ok for you to be angry with your father for what he's done, and if you weren't, I'd be worried about you.
My daughter is in a similar situation herself, so I understand where you come from. She was not even born though when I'd left her father and she got to meet him about 2 yrs ago. He did some pretty 'dark' things right after she met him and she totally hated him, but was in a spin because she still loved him, much like you are. I have often reminded her that it is ok to love someone, but not like what they've done, or like their actions as a person.
Number 1: it is OK to love someone and be angry with them, not like them, and not want them to be a part of your life.
Number 2: even though your father is a part of you, it does NOT make YOU a bad person.
Number 3: Forgiveness is going to take a lot of time and therapy. I can sit here and tell you that everything is just going to be ok, but it will take some time.
Number 4: Do you and your mom have a good relationship? and if so, please talk to her about how you feel. I am understanding that you are now old enough for her to tell you why she thought she should remove you kids.
I am not a therapist, but I have been close to where you are now......if there is anything more that I can help you with, I will try.
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Is there any way to build strength without having to lift weights or anything like that.
We've started doing bits of break dancing in my hip hop dancing and it's really hard seeing as I'm not exactly strong and the teacher told me to figure out a way to build stregth without lifting weights or something
I've tryed to just keep practicing but I keep falling on my face 'cause I'm not strong enough to hold the weight of my whole body on my arms haha. (link)
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try doing some simple exercises such as pullups and pushups, those both will increase arm strength.
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i'm auditioning for drill team officer, possibly head sergent and i need to choreograph to two songs. i need a song for a jazz routine and a prop routine (where u have a chair, ladder, cane, or some other prop incorperated into your dance) and i need help thinking of songs. i want the jazz routine to be very poppy and bouncy. kinda like cierra 1 2 step, but i don't want to use that song. but for the prop routine i still don't know what i want. suggestions for it are open. i rate high. i just want ideas and song titles, thanks for the oppinions. (link)
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Try looking into some of the musical pieces that are Broadway types for the prop routine. I can't remember the name of the show, but it is shown on the movie Mr. Holland's Opus.
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I have so much on my plate right now. With the current school year ending soon i am applying for scholorships, running for vice-prez of my high school class, and dealing with all the extra school work. we have to write lots of essays, and do finals and stuff. I also have responsiblities at my church i am responsible for, and I'm cast in a play that will be opening in early june. Right now i'm also PMSing so i'm in physical pain with cramps and stuff and i'm in a really bad mood. I also get ance pretty bad sometimes... i use proactive, but right now i'm really breaking out and it's affecting my self esteem. i have too much to do each day, so i often dont get enough sleep. I also procastinate... alot. I have put soo much pressure on myself to get a 4.0 Gpa this sememster or at least mantain my 3.9, but i'm soo scared that i'll get below that. I'm a prefectionist and i get stressed easily. my room is a mess and i never have any time to clean it, so my parents are harping on me for that... and my other chores at home are lacking. I also feel like everyone in my life is changing, and becoming different. and i feel like i have no one to talk to. i'm going into high school next year, and i'm soo scared.. but i dont have anyone to talk to about it because i dont like letting people know my feelings, and i have trust issues when it comes to what i am really feeling and thinking. Anyways i just needed to get this off my chest and maybe talk to someone. and see if anyone has any advice about what to do to lessen my stress level, help me not procrastinate, stuff with my friends, and parents... or something. just umm help, please!!!! thanks soo much! i appreciate it, and this was long so thanks for even reading it!
-Dealing with life (13/f) (link)
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ok, the first thing that a procrastinator needs to do is to get a schedule of events set up. Keep in mind your goals and things that you have to do and write them down on a calendar. If you have a visual and a schedule of things to do, that will help ease stress and also help you to focus better. Sleep is VERY important, I cannot emphasize that enough, but when we stress out, we often do not sleep well. A suggestion that I can make there is that you do some form of relaxation technique before going to bed. If I may suggest one that works for me, close your eyes and clear your mind, picture yourself in a field of grass, hold your head up high and let the sun fill you and the feeling of light to come in, while the light is coming in, imagine all of the negative and stressful things leaving your body. Sure, sounds kinda whacky, but it works, the mind is a powerful tool. Concerning your acne, some people especially during teenage years are prone to acne....DO NOT let it affect who you are on the inside! You are a beautiful and very talented young woman who has a lot to offer....the shell on the outside is just that, a shell. :)
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My friend is pregnant and she's only 13. She's freaking out a lot..and she wants me to help her. What should i do ? i dont wanna end up killing someone else's baby! (link)
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As hard as it may seem, is best to notify some type of parental figure or counselor. At 13 it is quite early to be having to worry about becoming a mother...
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ok, one of my friends thinks that i like her boyfriend but i really dont is there anyway i can tell her and maybe she'll belive me PLEASE HELP I RATE HIGH! THANK YOU! (link)
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It is not that your friend is not a "friend". She may be experiencing insecurities within herself. The best advice that I could give would be to talk with her and explain that you don't like him in that way and ask her if there is any particular reason why she thinks that you do. Many times, there are total miscommunications when we just don't sit down and hash out what the true problem is...
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My dance is friday and of course I got my period yesterday. I have to wear a dress but I am not so good with tampons. I've used one once but the last time I used one it hurt and I had to take it out and it hurt more. I don't really know how to get over my fear and do it, I mean, I HAVE to for the dance unless I wear a pad, but, you know...yeah. Does anyone have any tips for getting over the fear of tampons? (link)
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Also, another thing about tampons, make sure and read the warning labels. If you experience clotting while on your period, tampons can cause toxic shock syndrome. Not to scare you, but to better educate you on the matter.
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