about

I am certainly not the best speller in the world. I also do not claim to have the best grammar or punctuation skills. My holy crusade is ,however, that you should make some effort to spell better by reading over what you write on the site. Have some respect for the people reading your questions and proof read, you capitalist pigs.

advice

My dog is a doghound, (doxen!) and she's drooling and acting a little...hm...WEE WOO WEE WHOO!!
What do you think is wrong??

Did you say doxen? Perhaps you mean daschund. If it's a long skinny dog or the proverbial "weiner dog" that is spelled dachund. Also if you were looking for real help you should have elaborated on "WEE WOO WEE WHOO!!" This brings me to my final point which is that only one exclamation mark can be used. Please be more thoughtful to columnists by actually thinking about what you write.

[view]

You're out of your mind. I'd never ask a MORON like yourself a question. All you do is bring people down to make yourself look nice. How pathetic is that? Let me guess, you're in 7th grade with pimples and you've got no life so you come on here and like to make people with real problems feel bad about themselves? Oh and just so you know, hun. When you start a sentence, there is a capital letter. And the word 'I' is always a capital letter. Goodness, for someone who is supposed to be good at English, you reall do suck.

Ah back again. I will admit if there is a problem with my typing it has to be capitalization. There, you win on that point. I hope you are proud. Now to clarify your image of me, I am in the tenth grade I am on the swim team, german club, honor roll, and I have a girlfriend. As for my face I have a remarkably clear complexion.
I do not mock people to bring them down (you on the other hand have done nothing but mock me.) I mock people so that the next time they post a question they will take the time to proof-read their question. Also I would like to point out I have only been bored enough to do this eight times that does not support your hypothesis about why I do this. Thanks for taking the time to make sure that your question was spelled and punctuated correctly as well as being grammatically ... adequate. Next time you want to tell me I "reall do suck" remember there is nothing lamer than arguing with someone over advicenators.

p.s. Looking back on your initial question you did all and more of the things you have accused me of, and after correcting you I did give you advice. So, I ask that you calm down, and not take these things so personally. In fact I was not even very rude to you. Where do you get your justification to come back so gung-ho and spitfire about it. I would hate to be your english teacher.

[view]

me and my boyfriend have done alot but no sex and every1 has asked me what base are you on and i dont know the bases ans nobody will tell you so do you know them???
thanks

1 is not a word and you can not use more than one of the same punctuation marks in a row. First base is making a sculpture of them out of their trash and stolen posessions. Second base is putting a camera in their room to videotape them while they sleep. Third base is non-lubricated anal sex. Fourth base is locking him in your closet so he will be forever yours.

[view]

ok ive done a hand job before but my friend keeps askin when is he gettin his and i keep tell him i dont kno and like i dont wanna come off as a ho doing that to someone im not with..is that hoeish ? i do have feelings for him though

Ho is not a real word. The word you are looking for may be whore. In turn you could also say whoreish. Please speaking english is a privelege not a right.

[view]

ok so there is this guy and we used 2 be like bestest best frendz!! like we told each other everything and called each other everyday and when i wuz like scared er sumpin i would call him and he would tell me everything would be ok but over summer brake we didnt hang out once and he didnt call me at all but when we went bak 2 skool he started talkinn 2 me and jokein around with me again n stuff but then he met these other kids and started 2 hang with them and toatally forgot about me i want 2 get over him but i cant i cry over him sumtimes because i miss are frendship and im tierd of crying over him i dont think he is werth it but i cant stop!!! plz plz help me
sighned ~~**upset\confused**~~

It is possible that you are legally retarded. You have the most atrocious spelling and grammar I have ever seen. I may have to retire after this one for it will be my greatest accomplishment ever. 2 is not a word. I can understand wanting it to be a word but it is not. Bestest is a redundant term you have the absolute best with -est added to the end making it an absolute absolute and then you threw in another best. "frendz" is wrong in several ways. I will sum it up by telling you that it is spelled friends. only one exclamation point can be used in a sentence. when you end a sentence you don't use two periods in order to show that the sentence is even more over so don't do it with exclamation points. okay, all of those errors were in the first sentence so you should be ashamed of yourself. Capitalization is a thing you should consider using. God damn you really are bad at this english thing. I'm going into a table format now because this would take me forever if I did not
1 was not wuz
2 or not er
3 something not sumpin (kill me now)
4 break not brake
5 back not bak
6 2 is still not a word
7 school not skool (are you like six years old)
8 talking not talkinn (i'm surprised you did not put tokin)
9 joking not jokein (g's are important
10 and not n (you can put 'n though)
11 totally not whatever the hell you put
12 can't needs an apostrophe
13 sometimes not sumtimes
14 our not are (thats really unacceptable)
15 i'm not im
16 tired (seriously come on)
17 don't not dont
18 worth not werth
19 please (take the time to write the whole word damn you!)
20 finally, signed not sighned
In conclusion, you are dumb. You almost take the fun out of making fun of people. Show some appreciation for the people you are asking advice from by proof-reading your post first. I would do the same for you.

[view]

You spell bad too. It's OKAY not OK. Moron.

Ahh, now comes my favorite part of teaching you heathens how to use the english language correctly; sentence structure. Moron is not a full sentence. It has a subject (sort of) but there is no verb. Now in the future keep in mind I do this so that I do not get a headache while reading your questions. Please do not be offended if i correct you. Is that OKAY dickweed? Also as long as we are on the subject of you being a jerk why don't we talk about the basis of being a question. your post was not a question. Questions end with a question mark. Now that you have had a lesson in not being retarded how about you go kill yourself?

[view]

well me and my parents got in the BIGGEST fight ever and i walked off and went to my boyfriends house...adn im 5months pregnat adn he said he would suport me and all that shit..well when i went there i didnt tell him and when i got there he was with a nother girl...i felt really bad...and i had no where to go so i went to my friends Marissas shes trying to help me out alot but i tinhk im putting alot of presure on her tho..and i fell bad adn i dont no what to do i dont want to tel lher that i feel liek tell her that...cause she might be liek yea you are and kick me out and i dont think i want to have this baby from that dude...so im tihnking about an abortion but if so then my firnd would get mad saying you made me go all throw that shit!!! i really dont no what to do and i havent heard from my parents for liek a month and i dont wnat to stay with her..what shall i do?
hel me!!
p.s im 17

First type better ok. you have horrible spelling you transpose letters and apart from elipses you don't use punctuation. beyond that get an abortion. Time is running out. You need to do it. It may be hard but take solace in the fact that the fetus does not think or feel yet.

[view]

i have an odd case....i am a forty-five year old man who sounds like an 11 year old girl. i stole my sister's phone and help it hostage because i think it's pretty. i drool in my sleep. i wake up a t night with a wet bed. my cheeks and lips make people think i have on make-up. i look like michael jackson. i can't get a wife because some people believe that i since i look so much like a woman. i mean yes i put on woman's clothing and hang around in bars but doesn't everyone? i am a lumberjack and i feel ok but am i? How do i change all of this.

i would visit an endocronologist. you may need artificial testosterone. also you should learn about capitalization and spacing. women like that.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker